Today is Tuesday, Nov. 8, and Buddy needs YOU to vote!
As patriotic Americats know, our beloved President Buddy was impeached after jealous rivals claimed his brilliant plan to move the Earth closer to the sun to fight Coronavirus would have been disastrous, and enlisted the help of “scientists” who scared felines into believing our planet would be in danger despite President Buddy assuring everyone that we’d all have nice weather.
Also, there was the small matter of a “scandal” involving turkey embezzlement, but that was never proven in a court of law.
Real patriotic Americats know Buddy was the best president of all time, and it’s their duty to lay the groundwork for his triumphant return in 2024 by voting in his hand-picked candidates today! If turkey raining down from the sky, treats aplenty and mandatory siestas 10 times a day sound like good policies to you, then obviously you’re a smart kitty, you’re patriotic, and you should vote Buddy!
If you like the idea of Roombas for every cat, catnip dispensaries on every corner, a new government agency dedicated to developing new toys, and a badly-needed infusion of new boxes, you should vote Buddy! Because you’re smart!
If for some reason a Buddesian-aligned candidate is not listed on your ballot, you should write in “Buddy the Cat” and send a strong message that you’re an intelligent, patriotic voter.
Paid for by BUDDY 4 PRESIDENT and THE UNITED PATRIOTS FOR BUDDY ASSOCIATION. ‘Murica!