Feline Overlords – Page 61

Cats In Games: Yakuza Kiwami 2

We’re looking at how cats are portrayed in video games. In this post, we discuss SEGA’s Yakuza Kiwami 2.

I’d been playing Yakuza Kiwami 2 for only a few minutes when I stopped and did a double-take.

My in-game character was standing in the exact same spot I’d been standing in real life six months ago, in Tokyo’s Shinjuku district.

Here’s Karaoke Kan on that street corner in the game:

And the same corner in real life:

The game’s recreation of Tokyo is impressive, featuring a replica of the Shinjuku district that feels alive, buzzing with activity and undiscovered adventures.

Here’s Shinjuku’s Don Quijote in the game alongside the real one in Tokyo:

Japan is arguably the most cat-friendly country in the world, with cat imagery everywhere, cats as pop culture icons, pet parents pushing their coddled kitties in designer strollers on the streets of Tokyo, and entire islands populated almost exclusively by cats.

I knew it wouldn’t be long before the game brought a cat into the mix, and it didn’t disappoint. In one scene, a character asks you to find his dear little girl who has been kidnapped, and you’re under the impression you’re searching for his daughter — right up until you find the kidnappers, give ’em a good old Yakuza beatdown, and realize your acquaintance’s “little girl” is actually a cat:

The game, which is little-known in the US but hugely popular in Japan, also features a, shall we say, less amiable encounter with cats:

yakuzakiwami_tiger — Now would be a good time to run!

Cat Crashes Buddhist Ceremony, Demands Affection From Monk

“Forget your prayers, dude, and scratch me on the head, will ya? Right there! Ah!”

In a scene that looked like the classic “cat on a keyboard” writ large, an especially affectionate tabby crashed a Buddhist ceremony on New Years Eve and demanded the attentions of a monk in the midst of a five-hour-long prayer.

The tabby, who is a regular at Wat Udomrangsi near Bangkok, seemed unfazed by the chanting and approached Luang Pi Komkrit Taechachoto, a 25-year-old monk.

A video uploaded by an amused bystander shows the striped kitty climbing into Taechachoto’s lap and rubbing his scent glands on the young monk’s saffron robes. After several nudging prompts from kitty, Taechachoto wisely decided to scratch the little one on his head and cheeks.

“I was trying to read the book,” Taechachoto told Reuters, “but I was more focused on the cat.”

The bold and apparently contented kitty even kneaded on Taechachoto’s robes.

Then came the moment that will be familiar to cat servants across the globe, regardless of the language they speak or the culture they’re a part of: As Taechachoto leaned forward to turn the page on the prayer book in front of him, the cat suddenly realized the book was the primary focus of the monk’s attention, and did what all cats do — he sat on it.

Nophayong Sookphan, the amused attendee who shot the video, told Reuters the affectionate feline stayed just long enough to ring in the New Year, remaining on Taechachoto’s lap for the final 15 minutes of 2019 and sauntering off shortly after the countdown.

The kitty and the young monk will be seeing each other again — the former is among a group of about 15 cats who call the temple complex their home. Animal life is sacred to adherents of Buddhism.

But, Taechachoto said, maybe the cats are too spoiled by the monks: “They’re all fat.”

The Cat and the Monk — “Hey, high-five me, bro! It’s almost 2020!” Credit:Nophayong Sookphan

Cat Destroys 2,400-Piece Model, Uses Power of Cuteness To Evade Consequences

The feline wrecking ball destroyed a model his human had spent a week building.

Toys are big business in the world of online auctions, and a guy in Thailand builds complex toy models as his side hustle, selling the completed items to collectors who don’t have the time to construct the models themselves.

It took Phumai Phornthong a week to assemble the 2,432-piece model of Doraemon, a robotic, time-traveling cat popularized by a Japanese manga series. He had a buyer all lined up and was ready to ship the cartoon kitty model when his own cat intervened.

Phornthong’s orange tabby did what cats do best and barreled into the completed model like a wrecking ball, shattering it into hundreds of pieces.

Here’s the model before kitty destroyed it:

cutecatdestroyer4 — The completed Doraemon model, before it was destroyed in a whirlwind of feline energy. Credit: Phornthong/Facebook

And here’s the aftermath:

cutecatdestroyer2 — No guilt, no remorse. He’s a killing machine! Credit: Phornthong/Facebook

Just look at that adorable cat: There’s not even the slightest trace of guilt on his little face.

“Damn cat!” Phornthong wrote. “I spent a week making this. The customer wants it before the new year.”

Then he added an ominous threat: “I will kill you!”

Thankfully, no actual felines were hurt during this incident. The unnamed tabby used his Powers of Cuteness to diffuse his human’s anger, and all was right with the world. Except, of course, the broken model. We imagine kitty will be quarantined from the build area in the future.

We here at Pain In The Bud sympathize with Mr. Phornthong. It was just two Christmases ago when I opened by bedroom door to find my beautiful, beloved Les Paul on the floor in two pieces, with the neck snapped at the halfway point. Buddy’s own considerable powers of cuteness saved him from certain death, or at least a punishment of no Temptations for a year.

King Buddy the Cat — “Yes, I did destroy it, but look at how cute I am!”

Somewhere in the world, an excited buyer is going to be disappointed to learn his or her Doraemon model will be at least a week late.

Become Your Kitty’s Twin With A Japanese Company’s Creepy Cat Mask

“I want to look exactly like my cat!” said no one ever.

As we’ve documented quite a bit on this blog — and via my own travels in Japan — the Japanese are absolutely crazy for cats, and their obsession has led to some strange inventions.

From the country that brought you cat shrines, cat train conductors and cat baby carriages comes My Family, a company that can turn you into your cat’s twin with customized kitty masks.

For a paltry $2,700 (we told you they’re obsessed), all you need to provide are some good photos of your feline master, and the totally normal people at My Family will craft and ship your creepy-looking kitty visage right to your home.

Here’s our totally accurate translation:

Step 1: Put on your cat mask:

Step 2: Pick up your cat and traumatize him or her for life:

Step 3: Prepare to be bitten and clawed.

Just look at the cat above. He’s not saying “Hey! There’s my beloved owner, and he looks like me now!”

Nope.

That cat is like “WTF dude get away from me! Put me down! I cannot unsee this!”

We ran the idea by Buddy, and while he says my wearing a mask of his face would be an improvement (hey, he is handsome), he would certainly bite me if I spent $2,700 on a Buddy mask instead of a Roomba.

A Comedian Explains Why Cats Are Better Than Dogs

Cats: The intellectual’s pet of choice!

Zoltan Kaszas starts off his stand-up routine by declaring he’s a cat person.

“I’m not anti-dog, you know?” he says, reassuring the dog-lovers in the audience. “Every time I tell someone I’m a cat person they’re like ‘What do you mean, you don’t like dogs?’ No, I like other people’s dogs!”

“I like dogs, but I like them over there. And I’ll go over and play with them, but then afterward, go back over there,” he says, gesturing to an imaginary pooch and drawing laughs from the audience.

“I don’t need that kind of energy in my house, you know what I mean? That annoying dog best friend, in-your-face-all-the-time kind of energy? … All the time? Ugh! No thank you.”

“That’s why I like cats. Cats are like ‘Hey, what are you up to? Oh never mind, I just remembered I don’t care. I’ll be in the kitchen, see ya later.’ I don’t need a best friend, I just need an apathetic roommate who wants to hang out sometimes!”

Of course, what Zoltan really means is cats are better for people like him. Or, since you’re reading this blog, people like us.

He’s right: Dogs and cats bring a distinct kind of energy to a home, and studies show reliable differences in so-called dog people and cat people. Among them: Cat owners are comparatively more introverted and cerebral, while dog owners enjoy less intellectually challenging activities like sniffing glue and eating paste. Sorry, couldn’t help myself!

Most of Zoltan’s set revolves around cats, their amusing antics, and the diet struggles of his rescue cat, Jessica.

There’s also a hilarious anecdote about his wife’s new hobby — reading stories about special needs animals on the internet and crying.

Considering how baffling and hilarious cats can be, it’s surprising there aren’t more comedy sets like this. Zoltan proves that cats can be just as funny as any other topic.

The internet’s done its part, launching the San Diego-based comic into the viral strata, and now Zoltan is known as the Cat Guy of Comedy. One thing’s for sure: Cat people like to talk about their animals.

“I get messages all the time from crazy cat people across the country who send me pictures of their cats,” he told an interviewer. “I respond to all of them. ‘Gee, she’s fuzzy.’ I’m running out of things to say to people’s cats, but it’s a good problem to have.”