Hello there, PITB readers! I have taken over the blog from my inept human on this most auspicious of days, International Cat Day, to offer some great suggestions on how to honor your feline overlord!
Let’s get right into it, shall we?
10) Human snacks: Let’s be serious here for a moment. I’m sick of getting the same old crunchy treats, meaty sticks, soft Buddy Biscuits, Churus and party mix. I want cheese! I want filet mignon! I want roast turkey! I want a cheeseburger! Day after day we have to sit here, our mouths watering as you humans stuff your faces with all sorts of food we would love to eat. Well, today’s the day. Start cookin’, servants!
9) Roombas. That’s right. It’s 2024 and I still don’t have a Roomba. I’m very angry about that. When do I get my mighty steed? Let it be today!
8) Catnip and silvervine. Sure, we get these on other days, but this day absolutely must not go by without you giving us at least a few doses of the good stuff. Hurry up! I need to get my fix!
7) Sweet cat drip that shows you’re owned by a cat. My Big Buddy just got two t-shirts. One shows a roaring jaguar with the word “Savage,” because I am savage, and the other is a kitty samurai with a cool sword. Aside from the fact that this is premium drip, everyone will know that you answer to a fluffy, benevolent overlord back home. That’s what’s important.
6) A throne. I’ve wanted a throne since I was a kitten. It doesn’t need to be an Iron Throne with the melted swords of everyone I’ve conquered, a la Game of Thrones. It can be something humble, made of gilded metal, velvet cushions and maybe a lion crest or cool tiger heads on the paw rests. I’m not picky as long as it looks awesome. What’s important is the symbolism and comfort.
5) Hire a mariachi band to parade through the streets hoisting an image of your cat, performing songs in your feline overlord’s honor. This is another humble offering that says “I serve a cat, and I’m proud of it!” When people ask what the hell is going on, hand them Cuban cigars and say “We are celebrating el jefe!” They’ll know who you mean.
4) Hire a portraitist to paint your kitty. Again, it doesn’t have to be extravagant. As a humble cat, I don’t mind being portrayed as a naval commodore, a king, a great warrior of world renown, or a massive tiger. The important thing is that it looks cool and you hang the picture above the couch in the living room. Get on it, human.
3) Massages. Schedule them throughout the day, sprinkling them around naps and meal times. Do you know how satisfying it is to enjoy a nice massage after Food O’Clock? I like to have my chin rubbed and the top of my head scratched while being told what a good, handsome, awesome, amazing, handsome, meowscular feline I am.
2) Toys. Not just for Christmas, you know. In fact, go ahead and consider this Kitty Christmas In Summer. Wand toys, track toys, new boxes, those little plastic ring things from milk gallon containers, stuffed animals that we can hunt and murder like the apex predators we are. You don’t have to wrap them, just bend the knee and present them as tribute. You’ll have our thanks, and our favor.
1)Hang out with us! It really is that simple. The most important thing you can do on International Cat Day is spend time with your cat! Many of the above suggestions fall under this category, including playing with us, giving us massages and reading epic poems you’ve composed about us. Personally I like settling down to nap on top of my Big Buddy after a massage. There’s something about having my chin scratched that makes me start yawning, and there’s no better place to nap than on my human, where it’s safe and there’s body heat and he can’t get up to use the bathroom because it would disturb me. That’s love.
I hope these suggestions are helpful! I’ve tried to list really easy, basic, humble stuff, but if you feel like constructing a 426-room cardboard box castle, well, I won’t stop you. In fact, that would be pretty cool. But like I said, the most important thing is that we get to hang out with you. And eat filet mignon.
Pain In The Bud 
My observance and servitude to Bella is confirmed on this important day – smoked salmon (a favourite) plus cooked chicken and extra fuss from the furminator ( her absolute favourite comb) followed by a chase with the teaser wand and now she is napping in one of the favourite places- I think shes knows what today is!!! perhaps his buddiness has called her on the feline transatlantic phone and told her as the full cat spa treatment was precided by a good dgree of “shouting” ! – a great day and all love & happiness to his buddiness from London
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Happy International Cat Day to your family and feline overlords, John! I should check out that Furminator, as the brush I have is at best tolerated by Bud. Does Bertie like it too?
I hope the day has been filled with lots of royal treatment and snacks for your house panthers.
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Bella loves her furminator but Bertie is not keen. Bertie loves catnip but Bella is not bothered. Learning our overlords likes and dislikes is a constant process !!
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A bit off topic I know, but I am sure you have seen this? – A town voted a horse as its Mayor BUT had cat candidates and cats have been the Mayor. in the past I genuinely think this is brilliant as it raises the visibility of all animals.https://www.thefp.com/p/michigan-town-horse-mayor?isFreemail=true&post_id=147491622&publication_id=260347&r=12o4l&triedRedirect=true
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That’s awesome. Obviously a cat should be mayor and there’s been some vote-rigging going on, because sensible people would vote for one of the cats.
Jokes aside, I wonder how much money they raise with these elections. It could definitely scale nicely in a city if marketed properly, and could benefit animal shelters.
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So is that why my cat TT was jumping on and off bed after midnight more than usual? I thought it was because i was wayching olympics. Churros too expensive. I get baby food. No preservatives. And other treats would be tuna and shrimp when i can afford for my brother.
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Yeah I mentioned them just to make Buddy’s list of snacks seem ridiculously long, but in truth he doesn’t eat any of those squeeze tube treats. He doesn’t seem to consider them food so he tries to play with the paste. He’s a weirdo.
I hope international Cat Day is going well in your home and your feline overlords are being spoiled!
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👍😺
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Hi Buddy, My name is Stanlee (that’s me with my Grinch doll below). Mr. Meepers and I are new readers of your blog and greatly appreciate all the tips. Our mom servant didn’t let us in on the Roomba or the throne. Now that we know we will be petitioning for these right away. Thanks for sharing your adventures and dispatches from up north, we live in Florida and keep inside where it is nice and cool, though Mr. Meepers does have heated blanket on the couch for tv time…he likes to be warm on one side and cool on the other. What can I say, he likes what he likes, I have fur sprouting from between my toes and can’t seem to convince the parents to move to snow country…we all have our burdens. Well, back to it, just wanted to say thanks for the new ideas, Buddy! Your friends,Stanlee and Mr. Meepers
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Welcome, Stanlee and Mr. Meepers, and your human Rosemary! We hope you like the blog and you get a laugh out of it. Indeed, a Roomba, a throne, catnip, silver vine, copious snacks and a mariachi band isn’t a lot to ask, is it? Stay cool in Florida!
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We celebrated with naps all around.
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A cat’s favorite thing to do.
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