Your feline overlord(s) want you to show more respect, human! What special things are you doing for them today?
Little Buddy has informed me that today is National Respect Your Cat Day.
Sounds made up, doesn’t it?
At first I was sure it was, just like the times he told me it was International Buy 100 Toys For Your Cat Day, and the 82nd Annual Feed Your Cat A Ridiculous Amount of Snacks Day.
But apparently it’s real, and Buddy made a big show of declaring its importance, dressing up as a judge with a black robe and gavel to emphasize his point.
“The court rules, inter aloha, that defendant subway sandwiches judice is mens rea when it comes to the ad hoc crime of not feeding me enough snacks! The court has concluded the accused has not met de minimus standards for snackis maximis deliciousness, therefore stare decesis!”
He cleared his throat.
“In plain meows, that means you must feed me more of those crunchy ball things, and a lot more of those decadently delicious soft treats so bursting with turkalicious flavor! And, uh, you have to apologize for not appreciating me enough!”
“It’s is the court’s opinion that you cook me a steak dinner!”
The feline shuffled his papers, adjusted his robe and began reading again.
“The court finds that Buddy the Cat has been a loyal, handsome, and handsomely loyal companion to the accused, and has enriched his life by simply being delightful, and also by purring contentedly, napping on him, helping him eat cheese, keeping his scooping skills sharp, and enhancing all aspects of his life through pure magnetic charm,” he said. “Respect me and my authoritah!”
So tonight Buddy will get plenty of yums, some catnip, extra play time, and I’ll tell him he’s looking particularly dapper today.
As for those of you reading this, better plan something before word gets out…or face your cat’s wrath when they find out it was Respect Your Cat Day and you did nothing!
“If you keel over and die, I’ll know not to eat the food,” Buddy told his human.
NEW YORK — Driven to paranoia by reports of spreading bird flu, Buddy the Cat has appointed his human as his food taster, sources confirmed.
The decision was made on Friday after the self-described “brave and fearless” tabby cat heard a news report about new cases of bird flu, including a cluster of the deadly virus in several cats in Hunterdon County, New Jersey, only 60 miles from Casa de Buddy.
Little Buddy made the act official, naming his human as “praegustator,” a title borne by imperial food tasters of ancient Rome.
“Your lunch, Your Meowjesty,” Buddy’s human, Big Buddy, said as he placed a bowl of chicken pate and fresh water before the feline.
Buddy looked at his human.
“What?” Big Buddy asked. “You want me to eat it for you, too?”
Big Buddy chuckled, but Little Buddy remained stone-faced.
“As a meowter of fact, I do,” the feline said. “Dig in.”
Big Buddy made a disgusted face.
“I’m not eating that, that’s your food, little dude,” he said. “What’s gotten into you?”
Buddy chuffed derisively.
“Bird flu, that’s what!” he said. “If you keel over and die, I’ll know there’s bird flu in the food!”
“Taste my food, human!”
The human rolled his eyes.
“If I die, who feeds you? Who gets your claws unstuck from the door screen, rubs your head and tells you what a brave little guy you are? Who serves as your human pillow? Who gives you scritches while you purr and tells you about your website, and how many people all over the world love you?”
Buddy’s satellite dish ears twitched.
“I hadn’t thought of that,” he admitted. “But I’m still not eating that until I know it’s safe!”
Big Buddy picked up the bowl.
“Fine,” he said. “I’m sure Smudge next door will be thrilled with another meal.”
Buddy’s eyes went wide.
“Do not give my food to that…that scoundrel!” he meowed indignantly.
Big Buddy sighed. “Then we’re back to square one.”
“Yes,” Little Buddy said. “Now eat the food, human!”
Top image: Food tasters at the Feast of Bartolomeo Colleoni in honor of Christian I of Denmark, 1467/ Wikimedia Commons
Entering its sixth year as the most incredibly awesome cat blog in the universe, PITB continues to chronicle the amazing adventures of Buddy the Cat.
It looks like 2025 is shaping up to be quite a year!
Flow won an Oscar, the Yankees are primed for mediocrity, this is the year Nostradamus predicted we’d get those awesome hoverboards from Back To The Future, and PITB will turn six years old in the summer!
Can you believe it? Six years of thrilling millions of readers with stories of Buddy’s incredible adventures, covering the most important cat news and setting all the hot new trends in the cat world!
LITTLEBUDDYTHECAT.COM: The elegant choice for discerning cat lovers.
Critics have lavished praise on PITB:
“You won’t find two more reprehensible characters. The ill-mannered cat who’s always hatching ludicrous schemes and the human who glorifies him. They don’t have two neurons to rub together between them.” – WIRED
“Incredible! Buddy the Cat is the most dashing, dapper and daring feline on the planet, and his fans are fortunate to read about his thrilling exploits!” – Buddy Monthly (starred review)
“Two of the worst representatives of their respective species. Fate smiled cruelly upon the world when these two joined forces. Thankfully their epic incompetence prevents them from taking over.” – The Guardian
“A titan of the feline world and his human sidekick, the Buddies join forces — and combine their considerable mental resources — for the betterment of feline- and mankind. Is there anything Buddy can’t do? That’s a rhetorical question, by the way.” – The Buddy Review of Awesome Felines
“A chubby house cat who thinks he’s a tiger and a human whose writerly ambitions far exceed his talents. Both live in a fantasy world that puts them one harebrained scheme from fame and fortune. If PITB had a print edition we’d recommend it as a birdcage liner.” – The New York Times
“Buddy is an 80s action hero in furry form, a one-cat army whose skill in martial arts is matched only by his razor-sharp wit. We feel privileged to read about his many adventures.” – The Buddinese Shinbun
“The blog works mostly as a celebration of a delusional cat’s ego.” – Associated Press
“Astonishing! With clever and awe-inspiringly beautiful prose, Big Buddy is like a bard expanding the legend of our furry little hero with every post. It’s no wonder Taylor Swift’s cat loves Buddy the Cat so much and wants to share her vast fortune with him.” – El Magnifico Buddenisto
“Buddy the Cat is a legend in his own mind, where his chubby frame becomes ‘meowscle’ and his half-baked plots become ‘genius.’ In that depraved little mind exists a world where kittens plaster his posters on their walls, female cats fight for his affections, and humans argue over who should have the privilege of serving him. Somehow, both cat and human labor under the misconception that what they’re doing is ‘humor,’ but they’re both morons.” – Newsweek
“Like the contents of a particularly foul litter box upended and assembled into crude approximations of words.” – Pitchfork
“Compulsively readable and addicting, like Michael Crichton on crack. Come to think of it, why isn’t there an amusement park based on Buddy and his legend? That’s a billion-dollar idea!”- The Daily Buddy
“Shunned by tigers, nearly murdered by lions, chased out of the White House by thousands of angry Americats and laughed at by rodents. Buddy’s track record is one of infamy and failure, and he’s not cute enough to make up for it. Avoid this blog like the COVID ward of your local hospital.” – The Economist
“So handsome, so kawaii! Budditsu-chan is dreamy!” – CrunchyRoll
“Immature, asinine and frankly offensive, [PITB] chronicles the ‘adventures’ of its titular feline, a delusional lunatic who harbors a single-minded obsession with turkey. When they’re not eating paste or laughing at their own poop jokes, the Buddies are probably smoking catnip, for only drug-addled idiots will find their ‘humor’ amusing.” – GQ
Pain In The Bud 