A new study suggests cat drugs may help humans overcome COVID-19.
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Date: Fri, 28 Aug 2020 11:40:36 -0400
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HERE IS THE LINK FOR PROOFS: https://www.foxnews.com/health/cat-drugs-fight-coronavirus-humans-study
Don't let the humans take our nip and our temps!
Buddy the Cat is demanding to play the heroic Lion-O instead of Snarf, the comedic relief of the show.
LOS ANGELES — The new reboot of beloved 80s cartoon Thundercats was thrown into limbo on Monday after one of its stars, Buddy the Cat, accused studio executives of lying to him about his role.
Thundercats follows a group of “catlike humanoid aliens” who flee their dying home world, Thundera, to settle on a new planet called Third Earth. Led by the heroic Lion-O, the Thundercats encounter a dire threat on their new world — a powerful sorcerer named Mumm-Ra who commands the magic of the Ancient Spirits of Evil.
Buddy the Cat inked the deal believing he was to star as the gallant, brave and muscular hero Lion-O, his agents said. but studio executives said they’d always planned for Buddy to play the doughy and cowardly Snarf, who often serves as comic relief.
“Buddy is a leading man, er, cat,” his principle agent, Ari Gold, said. “When the producers said they loved him for the role, Buddy had no reason to believe they envisioned him as anyone other than Lion-O.”
But the studio and production team had always intended for the gray tabby cat to play Snarf, showrunner Trey Parker said.
“Buddy is the quintessential Snarf: An amusing little butterball whose silly antics bring a touch of humor to the show,” Parker said. “We needed someone believably heroic go play Lion-O, someone who is powerful and ripped. That’s why we went with Maru, the famous Youtube cat.”
Producers chose Maru for the role of the heroic Lion-O.
Fan reaction was swift and condemnatory.
“How dare you cast anyone other than Buddy to play Lion-O, or suggest he’s not muscular and ripped enough for the role,” one angry fan said in a voicemail. “I’m totally ripp…I mean, Buddy is totally ripped! He IS Lion-O.”
Production on the new series remained stalled, with Buddy refusing to exit his trailer until the casting kerfuffle has been resolved.
“Buddy has indicated he’d compromise,” Gold said. “He’s willing to play the role of Tygra, if the producers are willing to show flexibility by making Tygra the leader of the Thundercats. The box is in their court.”
Buddy’s PSA informs men that cats are very manly companions and aren’t just for women.
Big Buddy: [The Human] Somehow people got this ridiculous idea that cats are exclusively pets for women…
Little Buddy: [The Cat] …which is absurd because we’re basically small tigers. I mean, look at me. Who wouldn’t run in terror if they found themselves on the wrong side of these claws?
Big Buddy: We’re here to dispel the idea that cats are for women, and tell you that caring for a cat is a manly thing to do.
Little Buddy: That’s right! Extremely manly.
Big Buddy: We do manly stuff around here.
Little Buddy: That’s right! We watch football, we drive around in a rugged pick-up truck and we grunt a lot.
Big Buddy: We don’t actually do any of those things.
Little Buddy: But we would, if we cared about football and trucks.
Big Buddy: We’re into other manly stuff, like baseball, basketball, huge starship battles and fight club. We funkatize entire galaxies, facilitate the spread of interstellar funk and blast funky bass lines from black holes.
Little Buddy: We don’t talk about fight club.
Big Buddy: And besides, the most badass canine is a wolf…
Little Buddy: …but the most badass feline is a tiger!
Big Buddy: That’s not even a contest. A tiger is clearly more badass than a wolf.
Little Buddy: Significantly more badass! A veritable fount of badassery. More badass by several orders of magnitude.
Big Buddy: I think they get it, little dude.
Little Buddy: I was just making sure.
Big Buddy: So if you’re a dude thinking about adopting a cat, don’t let dumbasses tell you cats are “feminine” pets…
Little Buddy: …cause then you’d be missing out on having your very own little tiger buddy. RAWR!!!
Big Buddy: Maybe we could do without the roar. You sound like Elmo singing in falsetto.
Little Buddy: I do not! I sound like a terrifying jungle cat.
The haunted room, called an “elevator” by humans, eats its occupants.
NEW YORK — Cursing “those infernal humans and their sorcery,” Buddy the Cat tried to fall asleep on Monday night while forgetting the horrors he saw earlier that day.
The normally happy, outgoing cat slipped out of his own apartmental realm as his human was entering it and resumed exploring and charting the strange land outside, known only as The Hallway.
Buddy rounded a corner, exploring further than he’d ever been when he discovered a large room at the intersection of three corridors. The smells were alien to him. Set into the wall was a shiny metal door, wider than the others. A tone chimed and it opened briefly to a small empty room before closing again.
Buddy could hear a deep rumble and feel a trembling beneath his paw pads.
“That’s when the doors opened again, and a tall woman in a blue dress walked out,” Buddy recalled. “The room was conjuring people!”
Portals similar to the haunted room discovered by Buddy near his own realm.
But the foul sorcery that can create a human can also undo one, the cat confirmed gravely.
“The room is hungry and devours as much as it creates,” he said. “I saw humans enter and the next time it opened, they were gone!”
As of press time, the gray tabby cat was brainstorming ideas for luring dogs into the deadly chamber.
WASHINGTON — Looking to solve what he called “a major military crisis,” President Buddy addressed the nation on Friday night and begged young cats to consider the Navy and the Marines.
While the Army and Chair Force remained well-staffed and trained, the infamous feline aversion to water has made it all but impossible to recruit new sailors and marines, the president of the Americats said.
“We have, like, six guys in the Marines and one or two old mousers living in ships in dry dock,” Buddy said at a news conference. “That leaves us without naval power at a time when the Siamese threaten us at every turn and the Persians continue to pursue mewcular technology.”
Slick new advertisements created by a New York ad agency are designed to catch the interest of younger demographics and spark interest in naval careers.
“WATER: IT’S NOT SO BAD!” declares the first ad campaign, while “MARINES: YOU GET COOL GUNS!” is the tagline for the second campaign, which will be rolled out nationally with commercials and print/online advertisements.
The Purrtagon approved the recruiting ads after their allies in the United Katdom saw a significant uptick in enlistments and commissions following a similar campaign.
The Americat military was inspired by a series of patriotic recruiting posters designed by the United Katdom, which helped drive recruitment up more than 130 percent.
At the Marine Corps Recruit Depot at South Carolina’s Parris Island, jaguar drill sergeants were helping reticent cats overcome their fear of water.
“Get in there, you whiny little kittens, or I’ll throw you in myself!” barked Sgt. Junglestalker.
“What we’re doing is retraining our recruits so they don’t hesitate to jump into the water, whether it’s a calm lake or a roiling sea,” Junglestalker told reporters. “We do that with compassion, by recognizing the fear our recruits have, calling them scared little wimps, and ultimately tossing them into the pool if they refuse to jump.”
Asked how boot camp instructors handle cats who can’t swim, Junglestalker said: “They learn pretty quickly when you throw them in.”
Officials hope the new recruitment efforts will yield results before the brand new Turkey-class cruiser, the USS Delicious, is formally commissioned. Featuring .50-caliber hairball guns, a quick-launch claw grappler and cucumber missile launchers, the formidable new vessel needs a crew before it can deploy.
Purrtagon brass are also considering commissioning M4 Schroedinger tanks for the Marines. The box-shaped tanks have been very popular with cats in the Army, and feature a “play dead” mode, so enemies cannot be sure if tank crews remain alive inside until they open the hatch.
HERE IS THE LINK FOR PROOFS: https://www.foxnews.com/health/cat-drugs-fight-coronavirus-humans-study
Don't let the humans take our nip and our temps!
Pain In The Bud 