Sharing the derpiest photos of your cat(s) has become the new viral trend.
The hashtag #unflatteringcatphotochallenge has been trending on Twitter and Instagram the past few days, and Buddy’s not one to let an opportunity go by.
Here’s a derpy and surprised-looking Buddy:
Here’s a loafing, chubby-looking Buddy:
Here’s an out-of-focus, annoyed-looking, panting Buddy:
Here’s baby Buddy looking like he’s a strangled muppet:
Buddy the Cat, publisher and editor-in-chief of the all-new Modern Box Magazine, seeks cats of considerable taste for the ultimate feline lifestyle magazine.
Buddy the Cat, publisher and editor-in-chief of the all-new Modern Box Magazine, seeks cats of considerable taste for the ultimate feline lifestyle publication. The editorial department seeks cats for the following positions: Investigative Eater, Box Reviewer, Keyboard Warmer, Leisure Editor. Must have at least three years’ experience sleeping, eating and lounging in a human home.
Right there, just behind the ear. That’s it! Ah! Keep going, human…
Well hello there, human!
Let me just squeeze in here and…ah, that’s better! Now I’m sitting between you and the glowing rectangle, which means you must pay attention to me.
You know, human, you really are the best. Forget all that stuff I meowed before when it looked like dinner was gonna be late. I didn’t mean it. Can you just go ahead and scratch me behind the ears?
Ah, that feels good! Now my cheeks and under my chin! Don’t be afraid to give my fur a good scratch. That’s it. This is the life! I’m so relaxed…
Hey, could you scratch just right here on my belly? No, I’m serious, I’m not just showing you my belly for poops and giggles. I really could use a good scratch right there and…wow that feels great…hey, stop it, you jerk! You had a good thing going there and then you ruined it by going half a millisecond too long.
Now scratch my head again, it’s time for Seventh Nap…
Listen to a recording of Buddy’s meows as he proves to a doubter that he sounds exactly like a roaring tiger!
Dear Buddy,
Why do you sound like Elmo singing in falsetto?
Laughing in Laramie
Dear Laughing,
Who is Elmo and what is falsetto? If Elmo sounds like me, he must be mighty and have the roar of a tiger!
Buddy
Buddy,
You’ve never heard of Elmo? Here, have a listen:
Laughing in Laramie
Dear Laughing,
Haha, very funny. I don’t sound anything like Elmo. This is what I sound like: (Editor’s note: This is an actual recording of Buddy, with Big Buddy interjecting with his imitation meows. Although the sound of Buddy’s roar is undoubtedly intimidating, try to remain calm. He is friendly.)
Buddy
Dear Buddy,
Was that you or another recording of Elmo? I couldn’t tell. Well if your career as a supposedly fearsome cat doesn’t work, you can always get work as an Elmo impersonator!
LOL
Dear Buddy,
He’s wrong, you don’t sound like Elmo…you sound like Elmeow! Ahahaha!
Giggling in Galicia
Buddy goes to incredible lengths to ensure he won’t have to share his home or his yums with another cat.
Dear Buddy,
Have you heard about the new dating site for humans who love cats? It’s called Tabby and launched this month. I hope my human finds a match with lots of kitties I can make friends with. I’ve always wanted siblings!
What about you? Are you excited? Maybe Big Buddy will match up with a nice woman who has lots of friendly cats!
Good luck!
Friendly in Fairview
Dear Friendly,
FAKE NEWS.
Buddy
Dear Buddy,
No, it’s true! The site is real! Aren’t you excited?
Friendly
Dear Friendly,
FAKE NEWS! There is no such dating site. Don’t go giving my human any ideas. He can date women WITHOUT cats. If he meets a human female with her own cats and they get married, that would mean I would have to share my territory — MY KINGDOM — with other cats.
That’s unacceptable.
Buddy
Dear Buddy,
Oh, come on, don’t be such a curmudgeon! I bet you’d be an awesome cat sibling. You’d have feline friends to play and snuggle with. Wouldn’t that be awesome?
Friendly
Dear Friendly,
No, it would not be awesome. There is only one king, and that’s me. Buddy the King. I don’t share litter boxes, I don’t share sleeping spots and I sure as hell don’t share yums!
I trust you will keep news of this “dating site” a secret, or I will be forced to murder you.
Buddy
Dear Buddy,
I’m afraid you’ll have to murder a lot of people, because the word’s out and the site has already gotten lots of press. In fact, Big Buddy may have a profile there already. Haha!
Friendly
Dear Friendly,
I checked. Big Buddy does not have a profile on this Tabby site you speak of. However, one can never be too careful, which is why I’ve taken it upon myself to create a profile for him and make sure no woman on this Earth will ever contact him or agree to a coffee date.
Name: Big Buddy
Likes: Star Trek, speaking Klingon, learning to speak Cardassian, long walks on the Holodeck, deep conversations about astrometrics and the Bajoran-Dominion conflict during candlelight dinners while drinking Chateau Picard, running diagnostic tests on plasma induction manifolds.
My perfect match: A woman who loves Star Trek as much as I do and has always dreamed of a Star Trek-themed wedding. We will get married on a replica of the USS Enterprise 1701-D bridge and honeymoon on the pleasure planet Risa.
What I look for in a woman: Fluent in Klingon, knowledgeable about subspace harmonics, Tachyon field theory and passionate about LCARS submenu design. Must be able to properly mix drinks with synthahol, but also enjoys Romulan ale on occasion.
What women will appreciate about me: I’m skilled in the art of Pon Farr, have been practicing Ambojitsu for 15 years and I’m in the process of remodeling the interior of my home to look like the crew deck of the USS Enterprise.
What do you think? Are there enough Star Trek references to ensure women on this app will be horrified and immediately swipe left? One can never be too careful. If there’s even a chance that a woman will respond, I must make the profile even more unpalatable. What else can I add? What if I say he’s a Bronie who loves Jersey Shore, or an otaku who has a waifu body pillow? Help me out here, my comfort depends on it!
Buddy
Pain In The Bud 