Which Colognes Drive Cats Crazy? Buddy The Cat Investigates!

After learning that wildcats — including jaguars, tigers and ocelots — love Calvin Klein’s Obsession for Men, Buddy the Cat explores the world of colognes to find one that drives domestic kitties crazy.

Earlier we wrote about the accidental discovery that ocelots respond enthusiastically to Calvin Klein’s Obsession for Men. Subsequent experiments proved jaguars and tigers are particularly fond of the scent as well.

Then a reader’s comment posed a question so obvious, we’re ashamed we didn’t think of it ourselves: do domestic kitties like colognes?

To find out, we asked Buddy the Cat, aka Little Buddy, to evaluate several fragrances. He’s taken the assignment seriously and provided thoughtful analysis, giving us just a hint of what it’s like to have an incredibly keen feline sense of smell.

Dolce and Gabbana Pour Homme

“The first ecstatic whiff takes me back to kittenhood. Days napping in the sun and chasing flies. Fresh cut grass and fragrant foliage. I was so deep into my reverie that the base notes nearly bowled me over when they arrived suddenly in their regal glories, like a king’s entourage without a herald. Rich cedar and musk evoke hours spent luxuriating in the potent funk of my human’s sneakers. Quiet woods and spices, like a litter box a day after feasting on rabbit, gently whisper of naps. Buddy likes this one!”

Cool Water by Davidoff

“Its initial briny hints conjure impressions of a dock at low tide, fish baking in the sun while a graybeard captain lights his pipe. Through confident middle notes, its warm embrace gently tugs you inward, like an antiquarian beckoning you inside a rare book shop with a rodent infestation. Aged leather book bindings and dark oak react provocatively with the paw-licking intensity of decadent mouse urine. Meowgnificent!”

Jaguar by Jaguar

“A carnival of candy for the nose, like accompanying your human to the bathroom post-Chipotle! The first hints arrive furtively, like a disguised aristocrat casting nervous glances as he makes a beeline for a brothel. Then it asserts itself in force: an army of jaguars advancing in the moonlight, their meowscles rippling in the silver mist, scent-marking in unison! Musk, civetone, ammonia. Pheromonic bliss!”

Drakkar Noir by Guy Laroche

“Powerful but restrained, like a certain silver tabby in his carrier, a single spritz of this magnificent scent conjures memories of halcyon days as a young feline. Mid notes whisper of woods and spices, a grove of wild catnip undulating in a summer breeze. Underneath it all is an unshakable foundation of warmth, like being swaddled in my human’s t-shirt after it’s been worn on a humid 97 degree day.”

Tyrannosaurus Rex by Zoologist

“Bergamot and verdant iridescence arrive as our olfactory escorts, ushering us in to a delectably frisky gourmand accord. It’s as if we’re drifting on chocolate seas with vanilla currents playfully nudging us to shore where beefy undertones await. Umami! Steaks sizzle, beckoning our noses toward the grill, stomachs rumbling. A most delicious scent!”

So there you have it. T Rex emerges as the winner in this round, but can it compare to mainstays by Yves Saint Laurent and Giorgio Armani? Only Buddy can tell us. Tune in next time as we accompany the Budster on an aromatic journey!

11 thoughts on “Which Colognes Drive Cats Crazy? Buddy The Cat Investigates!”

    1. Haha. Gross to us, but probably heaven to a cat. I tried to echo the ridiculous, overwrought writing of cologne reviews, much like reviews for wine, cigars and so on.

      I may have missed the mark but it was fun attempting it.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Back when I lived at home I remember somebody – one of my brothers probably – had spilled bleach on the dining room carpet.

    The family cat when to inspect the stain and BOOM – it hit her like catnip to the 10th power.

    She’d roll all over it. She’s sleep on it. She did everything but lick it. Fortunately.

    She liked sleeping in the laundry basket, but if there were something in the laundry basked that had been bleached, she’d turn over the basket, and try to pull out the bleached item so she could enjoy it.

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    1. Interesting. Google says bleach mimics pheromones and can trigger a catnip-like response, but it’s toxic to cats. It’s good to know anyway. I won’t let Bud anywhere near the stuff.

      Thanke for heads up!

      Like

  2. Loved this! Buddy is a frag head with strong opinions, which doesn’t surprise me at all.

    The reason why some cats react strongly to certain perfumes most likely is because of the

    ingredients. Perfumes used to contain substances taken from animals, often glandular.

    Most modern perfumes use chemical substitutes for the animal stuff.

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    1. “Get over here, you furry little fraghead!”

      lol. It sounds vaguely obscene.

      Regarding the fragrances, you’re right, I looked at ingredients for some of the colognes while writing this and they were all chemically synthesized versions of scents that appear in nature with the exception of some of the floral scents.

      Like

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