NEW YORK — Buddy the Cat was particularly pleased with himself on Thursday after he successfully scared off one of his mortal enemies by using his powerful roar.
The gray tabby cat had just finished his second Food O’Clock meal of the day and was settling down for 5th Nap when the infernal machine known as Vakuum the Disturberizer encroached upon the Buddesian domicile and began its high-pitched shriek.
While previously he’d hiss at the accursed machine and retreat to the safety of the bedroom, Buddy decided to put his paw down, sources said. It was time to make a stand.
Rising up to his full height of almost a foot, Buddy let loose a mighty, blood-curdling roar — and was shocked when Vakuum immediately stopped making its pestiferous racket.
“That machine took one look at me and decided it didn’t want a piece of this,” Buddy said, his primordial pouch jiggling as he flexed. “It helps to be a meowscular and intimidating cat, you know. We jaguars are quite ferocious when we need to be.”
A spokescat for the Yguara Nation of the Americas confirmed that while Buddy is an honorary jaguar and was bestowed the name Kinich Bajo, meaning “Tiny Sun-Eyed One,” he is not in fact an actual jaguar.
Pain In The Bud 
Don’t be a big silly! OF COURSE BUDDY IS A JAGUAR. And a very intimidating one at that.
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As he constantly reminds me. The jaguars were too kind in taking him in, accompanying him on ayahuasca “vision quests,” bestowing him with a traditional jaguar name, and declaring him an honorary jaguar. I much preferred the tigers, who dragged him into their den where a tigress gave him tongue baths as if he were one of her babies.
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Way to go, Buddy!
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A victory worthy of a declaration of a national holiday in celebration!
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Yes, cats could get a day off from their busy schedules of eating and sleeping.
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Congratulations, Buddy!
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Spunkmeyer says to his friend ‘Lil Buddy, I feel like that is why the phrase politician is so foreign to us!!!” In our world, there are us and servants! No
politics needed! And we treat our servants good!
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The Spunkster is right, there are just cats and servants. As it should be.
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Hey Dee, long time no see. I thought maybe you took a time machine back to the 50s!
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A much SIMPLER time! 😂😎😹
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I thought… Well you know your cat… Spunkmeyer says he is more like a lion with the mane all over.
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This stunning victory inspires me to ditch the vacuum cleaner hanging out in the closet. Me and the cats prefer a broom – no noise, no fuss. Buddy would approve!
BTW, do you read Andy Borowitz’ blog? A couple days ago he wrote about the nation’s cats organizing a Million Meows March to lash out at JD Vance’s nasty comments about “lonely cat ladies”. 🙂
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I didn’t see that, but I’ve had to adjust my search filters to include “-vance”, “-harris” and “-trump” just to get to the regular cat news because there’s so much being written about Vance.
I thought of writing about it, but at this point it would be like a drop in the bucket. It’s not smart politics to insult millions of potential voters, that’s for sure.
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