NEW YORK — Disappointed with the lack of responses to his dating profile, Buddy the Cat updated it on Sunday with “much more accurate and badass” photos of himself.
“These oughta do it,” the gray tabby cat said, laying back with his paws behind his head and his feet up after successfully updating his Meowr profile.
The dating app, which is exclusively for the use of felines, boasts more than 24 million users and saw an influx of new accounts registered over the weekend after a National Cat Day promotion.
Disregarding the advice of his human to “just be himself,” Buddy headlined his profile “Catdonis Seeks Super Hot Model Types.” Under a column titled “Describe yourself in a few words,” the model-seeking feline wrote: “Brave, handsome, meowscular, really really funny, an incredible dancer, and the 2023 National Competitive Table-Setting Champion.”
His human spat out his drink.
“Brave? Competitive table-setting champion? What the hell?” he asked, awe-struck.
Buddy rubbed a paw against his fur and matter-of-factly explained what his dumb human was unable to grasp.
“It’s designed to show my artsy and sensitive side,” he said. “Duh. This may come as a surprise to you, but the ladies like a cat who is in touch with his inner artist.”
Big Buddy shot his feline friend a derisive look.
“The only art you’ve made is in your litter box,” he said. “And it’s depressingly apocalyptic.”
Buddy snorted.
“We’ll see who gets the last laugh, human,” he said. “When I roll up to the club with Meowghan Fox or Jennifer Clawrence on my arm, you’ll be super jelly.”
As of Thursday Buddy had received no responses on his profile.
Pain In The Bud 
I have a new feline neighbor down the block. Long haired orange beauty named Felix. Yes. They named her Felix.Always looking out the window at birds.
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Surely she’ll want to see these totally accurate photos and profile of Bud the meowscular gentleman. Who could resist such a beefcake specimen?
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They will respond Don’t give up😊
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His “competitive table-setting” probably means he knocks everything off the table.
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Hah! Probably. It’s what he’s good at.
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Bella has Bertie and although their mysterious relationship is not fully understood they have a wary tolerance of each other so I think any appearances on a feline dating app would not be well received in London !!!!
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Well he’s like her cat in a way, yeah? She brought him home, and if she didn’t want him there, let’s be honest, he wouldn’t be there. We all know who makes the rules in the Graham household: Bella the Cat!
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Buddy’s power of magical thinking is sure to get him a date!
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I mean, who can resist such a meowscular little guy?
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Wow, Buddy’s been working out! Not to worry, the female felines will appear soon … any moment now.
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