NEW YORK — Buddy the Cat took aim at the New York Yankees on Sunday, blaming the team’s players and front office for a noticeable drop-off in celebratory treat dispensing as the team has struggled.
“Reprehensible” is how the gray tabby described the 2023 campaign by baseball’s most storied franchise, baring his teeth in disgust at the bitterly disappointing performance of the club.
“Last season Aaron Judge hit 62 home runs, which was a record both for the American League and the Yankees and more importantly occasioned the dispensing of celebratory treats for me every time the ball landed beyond the outfield wall. But this year? Judge was injured for half the season, the rest of these guys couldn’t hit a ball off a tee and I am unacceptably bereft of frequent yums.”
Buddy told reporters his patience was exhausted before the All Star break as the team wallowed in mediocrity, but things really took a turn for the worse in recent weeks when the Yankees dropped nine consecutive series and often failed to muster a single run.
“These bums have had games where they go 2 for 31 with 17 strikeouts!” the exasperated feline meowed. “They’re facing back of the rotation guys and striking out like pick-up artists at a bar! How’s a cat supposed to snack in these conditions?!”
As the season spiraled out of control the Yankees found themselves as many as six games below .500, endangering a streak of more than 30 consecutive winning seasons and, more importantly, starving poor Buddy.
The result of their futility, he explained, was a disgruntled human who had far fewer occasions to celebrate and share his excitement by fetching snacks from the treat cabinet.
The futility of the Yankees has been especially difficult for Buddy as he watches cats whose humans are fans of the Atlanta Braves “feast like vikings in Valhalla.”
“I got so desperate, I started to sound like [Yankees manager] Aaron Boone,” Buddy admitted. “[Yankees designated hitter Giancarlo] Stanton would whiff on a slider two feet off the plate and I’d say ‘Well that was a pretty solid at bat, pal, what do you say we break out the crunchies?’ But he just looked at me with disgust.”
The feline, known for his various schemes to obtain more food, said he’s been trying to get his human interested in other sports in a desperate bid to earn more snacks.
“There’s that guy down in Miami, Messy something, in that sport where they kick a ball around,” he said. “Why can’t Big Buddy get into that? Those guys win a lot.”
With the baseball season in its last weeks and a playoff berth looking extremely unlikely, Buddy said he’s got even more riding on the upcoming New York Knicks season.
“Jalen Brunson has been a wonder for exceeeding my snack quota,” he told reporters. “Every time he hits a clutch three, chewy and crunchy treats rain down from the sky. When the Knicks won their first round playoff series, snacks flowed like a river! I need that team to be even better this year, otherwise I’m going to be skin and bones.”
Pain In The Bud 
Poor Buddy, his team’s poor performance is hitting him where it hurts. The Yankees better do something about that!
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They have been so bad this year that in August they called up all their rookie prospects in triple-A (the top level of the minor leagues), figuring that they’re almost mathematically eliminated from a playoff spot, so why not give the kids valuable experience in the majors? The top prospect, a kid they call The Martian, immediately started bashing home runs like crazy until he got injured, because of course he did.
They’ve managed to climb above .500 in the past week but they’re down today and if they finish with a losing record, it will be the first time in 32 years.
I know being angry about that might sound absurd to some people, but the Yankees are the Yankees, they’re expected not just to win but to be great, and they certainly spend enough money on players to be much better than they have been this year.
But no matter what, the Mets are always worse. This year the Mets will set the record for the most highly-paid last-place team in MLB history. lol!
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What happened? Vegan turkey jerky only? 🤣I eat that but Buddy needs REAL TURKEY.
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He’s kinda got a point though. Last year the Yankees were killing it in the first half, and while they did drop off in the second half, Judge’s home run chase was historic and a lot of fun to watch.
Ah, well. The NBA season promises lots of ecstatic treat-sharing! I’ve never been a football fan and just can’t get into it, so Bud’ll have to wait until basketball starts.
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👍😁😺Not much into sports. Used to watch tennis. Now i like watching horror movies with kitties sitting next to me.
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I don’t know if he feels me tensing up or he smells chemical signals, but Bud notices when I get tense at certain moments while watching horror movies and checks on me to make sure I’m okay. This happens when he’s sleeping in my lap or on my legs while I’m watching a movie.
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Well, the NY Giants may not have been the same since Nov 12, 2019 when a plucky black cat showed-up during their game against the Cowboys. “After his appearance (and subsequent furry touchdown), the Cowboys went on to win 37-18.”
So take heart, at least it was a feline that did them in.
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I remember that! That was the first of several very weird incidents with cats in football and baseball, which of course fans and analysts tied in to winning/losing streaks. The Yankees had one too, a terrified gray tabby who evaded a whole platoon of security staff until they finally opened a door into the interior of the stadium and he ran into it. Come to think of it, I have a friend who works for the Yankees and she never returned my email asking what happened to the cat.
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I am not a sports person but if you were closer I would share Spunkmeyer’s treats! He is so cute and nice (an act? If so, A good one!) And would love to share his treats! But does Buddy like sci-fi movies?
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We love sci-fi movies and books too. And TV shows. Just finished watching the second season of Foundation and For All Mankind is coming back for a fourth season in November, which I’m looking forward to.
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Spunkmeyer says and I quote :”COOL BEANS”!
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Thank you, Little Buddy, for your refreshing viewpoint and funny comments. In your picture you look sad (no treats) but you are also handsome, clean and neat. Does Big Buddy brush your fur? Because you look very fine indeed. 😊 PS: Hope the personal comments are not offensive.
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Please, Little Buddy loves hearing about how handsome he is! lol he even purrs louder when I say he’s a handsome little guy.
I do brush his fur once or twice a day. I wouldn’t say he loves it but he tolerates it, especially because I rub his head every few seconds while I’m brushing.
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