NEW YORK — Buddy the Cat recorded the results of his 412,377th gravity experiment on Tuesday after successfully swatting his human’s smartphone off of a nightstand.
The silver tabby, who is a longtime enthusiast of experimentation with gravitational forces, said his most recent experiments were opportunistic.
“Usually my human secures his phone and his glasses before going to sleep, because he’s jealous of my scientific exploits and seeks to impede my progress,” Buddy explained. “But he must have been really tired the night before, because I noticed the glasses and phone were just sitting there unattended. They were calling out for me to swipe them onto the floor.”
It would have been rude not to take advantage, Buddy said.
Gravity experiment #412,377 went as predicted with the smartphone landing on the floor with a satisfying slap, the scholarly feline reported.
Gravity experiment #412,376 was equally successful, with an added bonus — the glasses ricocheted off the nearby wall and became wedged between the mattress and the wall.
“My human, Big Buddy, was very angry when he woke up and couldn’t find his glasses,” Buddy admitted. “It was fun watching him fumble around like he was blind. He came close a couple of times and I considered meowing to let him know he was getting warm, but decided it was crucial to the experiment to see how long it would take him to find them. After all, what is a scientist without his integrity?”
Buddy the Cat said he expects a Nobel Prize at some point in the future for his groundbreaking work.
“Gravity is remarkably consistent,” the feline scientist noted. “No matter how many times I swipe things off of flat surfaces, they always fall to the floor. But I haven’t even tried 500,000 times yet. I feel I need at least a million attempts to have a really robust dataset, and my experiment could benefit from more variety as well. Maybe I’ll try the TV next, or maybe the dishes in the kitchen cabinet. The possibilities are endless!”
Pain In The Bud 
Buddy is really working those meowcles! Tux is content with knocking lip balm and eye drops strategically underneath the bed to make it an effort to reach them. I am not going to tell him about Buddy, the master of gravity experiments!
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Always the gentleman, that Tux is. He could knock over vitally important items, but no, he’s too considerate for that.
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MOL/LOL oh Buddy yore a furabuluss Scientist.
Butt may mee wreck-o-med you DO NOT swat, swipe or whap Tee V off Tee V stand!! These new oness are thin an brake too easy an Hu’manss FREEK OUT if their Tee V getss broked.
Due you know BellaSita Mum ackshully bott 2-2 inch strapss that are seecured with Velcrow……
This was fore ‘angel’ Unkell Purrince Siddhartha who whapped her Tee V day aftur shee bott it an it allmost hit floor….shee was furry piXXed so got THE Strapss an shee REEFUSESS to take them off Tee V. Maybe keep xperimentss to smaller itemss 😉
**nose bopss** BellaDharma
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Hmmm, those velcro straps are not a bad idea. I’m sure, however, that BellaDharma is much more well-behaved than her uncle or Buddy is. She looks too innocent to go rampaging around the house, smacking things off of every flat surface.
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Buddy provides solid evidence for the existance of gravity! His devotion to science is astounding and should be furthered by Big Buddy.
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The gyroscope on my smartphone is wonky now from a few too many of Bud’s “gravity experiments.” I’m gonna have to double down on stashing it along with my glasses.
The little guy will be relegated to conducting his “experiments” with non-breakable, inconsequential items which are not glasses, smartphones or keys.
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This is extremely interesting to Bella as she has been conducting scientific experiments on the unmanned flight capabilities of household objects. So far a vase ( about 2 inches) and various ornaments ( generally recorded as distance= mass+ momentum÷ cat force) she hopes to have NASA interest soon.
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You and Big Buddy are so lucky to have scientist cats. My cats care nothing for science and leave me to break things … I mean
test gravity myself.
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Did you see the post from early in the pandemic when NASA staff discussed whether they needed to keep their cats away from their keyboards when they were working from home? For a minute there, some people were concerned that a cat flopping on a keyboard could send a command to the ISS, re-align a telescope mirror or even launch a craft.
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With all the stupid memes about cats – ‘they’re cold, unfeeling, and won’t go apesh*t when I come home, like a dog would,’ – there also seems to be a total unawareness of how intelligent cats are, and how interested they are in scientific experimentation. I once had a cat who was interested in testing both solids and liquids, but mostly liquids. Daisy would watch closely when anyone was drinking, and if the subject got up and left behind their still full glass, mug, whatevs, she would immediately knock over same.
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Ah yes, the beverage tester! We had one of those too, and no container of liquid was safe from her. One of my cats likes to throw down anything in his path when he wants a treat. He even tosses the treat container down!
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