Scottish Politician Calls Larry The Cat ‘A Little S–t’ After Petting Snub

Political careers, human and animal, have been ended by failure to show proper deference to Larry the Cat.

There’s a current crisis in the UK, one of national importance which must be addressed by all relevant authorities before things get out of hand.

Larry the Cat, Mouser in Chief at No. 10 Downing St. (also known as Larry’s House), is not getting the respect he deserves.

First, incoming Prime Minister Keir Starmer moved into No. 10 this summer. Larry has generously allowed five previous prime ministers to live there, so that wasn’t the problem. The issue, which should have been obvious to anyone with a brain, is that Starmer brought his family cat, Jojo, and allowed his children to adopt a new kitten.

After Larry’s dust-ups with Palmerston, the former chief mouser at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO), it was established that the lord paramount of No. 10 would tolerate no feline presence other than his ladyfriend, Maisie, yet Starmer went ahead and insulted his gracious host anyway. Wisely, he has restricted his cats to his private apartments while Larry has the run of the compound.

Palmerston the Cat
Palmerston was retired to the countryside after crossing Larry. Credit: US Embassy London

Poll after poll has shown Larry’s popularity easily exceeds that of every prime minister to serve under him, so rest assured there will be a new prime minister as soon as election law allows. One does not simply thumb his nose at Larry the Cat and get away with one’s reputation and career unscathed.

Now another politician has run afoul of Larry and his legions of admirers, committing career suicide by calling Larry “a little shit” and piling on the disparaging comments.

Ian Murray, the secretary of state of a country called Scotland, apparently a minor territory in Larry’s realm, said he and the other Scottish ministers “were like kids in a sweet shop” when they attended a meeting at No. 10, not because of government business, but because they would have the honor of an audience with Larry.

But as Robert Heinlein once observed: “Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.”

Press reports suspiciously omit the breaches of protocol committed by Murray and Peter Kyle, the Scottish science secretary, but photographs show Larry snubbing Murray’s attempts to pet him while Kyle watched and laughed.

Or perhaps there was no protocol breach, and the Scottish delegation simply fell beneath the notice of Larry. Surely a cat with so many responsibilities can’t be expected to micromanage the affairs of insignificant vassal states and commonwealth territories. After all, does anyone honestly believe Larry has the time to fret about Monserrat or the Cayman Islands?

Larry the cat rejects Ian Murray
Murray, left, seen bending down to pet Larry immediately before being snubbed in front of his colleagues and the UK press. After this incident, Murray’s time in politics will surely come to an end.

Regardless, Murray was not pleased. The man is now on borrowed time, and he knows it.

“And without putting too fine a point on it, Larry the cat is a little shit. So none of us got a picture with Larry the cat,” Murray said after the public diss. “Larry the cat is the most miserable animal you’ll ever meet in your life. I’m not surprised given who he’s had to live with for the last ten years.”

Murray and Starmer would do well to consider the fate of Boris Johnson, whose prime ministry was over the moment he called Larry a “thug.”

Johnson knew full well his dog, Dilyn, had tried to steal Larry’s food and received an appropriate thumping for it, yet still placed the blame on the country’s most revered figure. (With apologies to His Majesty King Charles and the late Queen Elizabeth, who both enjoy popularity nearly on par with Larry.)

Likewise, former MP Liz Truss became the shortest-serving prime minister in the country’s history, lasting only 50 days in office after failing to establish a rapport with the chief mouser, who was photographed on several occasions ducking her attempts at affection.

Boris Johnson and Larry the Cat
Larry the Cat shows Boris Johnson the finer points of national management during the former’s turn as prime minister from 2019 until 2022, when Johnson lost Larry’s confidence and was replaced. Credit: UK Foreign Office

Politics in any country are chaotic and unpredictable, but if there is one rule in the UK political system, it’s this: those who get on the wrong side of Larry don’t last long.

Just ask Palmerston, who was banished to a country estate after a dust-up with Larry and still carries a token of the Chief Mouser’s esteem on his left ear, which was cleaved with the might of Larry’s claws.

You don’t mess with with the Mouser in Chief.

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Larry The Cat Is Now On His 6th Prime Minister: Long Live Larry The Cat!

While the prime minister is the official government executive in the UK, Larry the Cat is the country’s de facto leader, setting policy on important issues like nap time quiet enforcement.

LONDON — Looking for a change after tiring of outgoing Prime Minister Rishi Sunak and his Conservative party, British voters on Thursday selected a new human to serve Larry the Cat, the nation’s de facto leader.

Incoming Prime Minister Keir Starmer was expected to meet with his feline master on Saturday, a day after a scheduled audience with King Charles.

“Lord Larry will lay out his expectations, go over the house rules at No. 10, and warn the new prime minister that national emergencies are not an excuse to be tardy with meals,” said Alastair Lamb, a political columnist for The Guardian. “This isn’t Larry’s first rodeo, as the Yanks might say. He is succinct in communicating what’s expected of a new prime minister.”

Indeed, Starmer is the sixth prime minister to serve under Larry, who arrived at No. 10 to great fanfare in 2011 during the premiership of David Cameron.

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Favorite of the ladies, chief mouser and renaissance feline: Larry the Cat.

Although Larry was initially brought on to combat a stubborn rodent infestation in the 400-year-old structure, he began to take on more duties related to the day-to-day running of the country when it became clear he was more competent — and much more popular — than the men and women officially running the country.

An Ipsos poll released on July 4 reaffirmed the feline’s supremacy: Larry’s favorability ratings are more than double Sunak’s, and he holds an 11 percent favorability lead over Starmer.

Larry has outlasted Cameron, Theresa May, Boris Johnson, Liz Truss and Sunak.

Sunak’s fate was sealed when staff at No. 10 leaked news that the prime minister had gotten on Larry’s bad side for ignoring the feline’s repeated demands for scritches while Sunak was on the phone with US President Joe Biden.

“Sunak made the mistake of believing the real power was in Washington, D.C., when it was in fact the 13-pounds of glorious fur sitting on his desk,” said Sir Felix Finch, editor of the Trafalgar Review of Books. “If he’s smart, Starmer will ingratiate himself with Lord Larry and ensure he remains on the cat’s good side by providing treats and a lap to nap on.”

Larry has directly or indirectly impacted the fates of most of No. 10’s previous occupants. When Johnson was ensnared in a scandal of his own making in 2020 — after he was caught hosting parties while the entire country was quarantining in lockdown — it appeared the 60-year-old former Etonian was on his way out. But in a show of confidence, Larry climbed on Johnson’s shoulder and sat there as the beleaguered politician apologized to British citizens in a televised address.

“His Lordship was sending a strong message: ‘This Boris guy isn’t bad, his treat game is strong and he lets me sleep on his head at night,” Finch said. “The public really responded, concluding that if Johnson still retained Larry’s favor, he must be an allright bloke.”

Buddy the Cat at Downing Street
Buddy the Cat visited No. 10 Downing St. in 2020 while he was president of the Americats, meeting his fellow head of state, Larry, for meows about the continuing alliance between the United Katdom and the Americats.

Starmer and his wife, Victoria, are said to be new to the world of cat servitude and will need to hit the ground running in order to avoid disappointing Larry. A team of aides will bring the couple up to speed on the basics before dining with Larry and his lady friend, Maisie.

“The First Larresian Supper, as it’s been dubbed by the British press, is seen as a key indicator of a new prime minister’s aptitude for the job,” said Spyglass magazine’s Luisa Rey. “One of the reasons [Liz] Truss’s  premiership was so short was her inability to make a meaningful connection with Larry.”

When word reached the press that Larry and Maisie were displeased with their pate and after dinner digestif, it was seen as only a matter of time before Truss was gone. Not only did she last a mere 50 days, the shortest tenure of any prime minister in history, she was also ousted from her seat in parliament in the same elections that saw Starmer win the top job.

“The message was quite clear,” Rey said. “Getting on Larry’s bad side is tantamount to career suicide.”

Starmer, who hopes to avoid that fate, received congratulations from Biden on Friday.

“Congratulations, Kevin,” Biden told Starmer, according to an official transcript of the call. “When I was a young man in Scranton, Pennsylvania, the British there loved me. They made me their prime minister, and that’s how I became mayor of London. Folks, look. The idea that…and look, my economy was the number one armadillo in the world, and there’s not a pangolin that’ll dance about history who will tell you the malarkey as it flies. As the first Macedonian-American president, I invite you to come visit the Taj Mahal and have dinner with me and Joan Rivers.”

Magnificent Mouser: Larry The Cat On The Verge Of Outlasting His 5th UK Prime Minister

The Chief Mouser of No. 10 Downing St. is still going strong after 13 years on the job.

At first it didn’t seem like Larry the Cat would last.

The then-four-year-old moggie was adopted from a London rescue because of his apparent predatorial skill and in November of 2011 was appointed Chief Mouser at No. 10 Downing St., the UK prime minister’s office and residence.

The prime minister and his staff hoped the highly-touted feline would rid them of a persistent rodent problem. It was so bad that when a mouse scurried into view during a state dinner in late 2011, Prime Minister David Cameron tossed a fork at it in frustration, and staff set about looking for a more comprehensive solution than the usual traps.

Larry arrived to great fanfare but had to remind the humans who’s boss first. He was almost an hour late to his public introduction because he was napping, then took a swipe at a news reporter trying to get in a live shot with him.

In his first weeks on the job, the imperious tabby made a big show of dozing off in public view, often on the window sill of No. 10. During his waking hours he was much more keen on visiting his “lady friend,” next door mouser Maisie, than he was on performing his official duties.

Larry_the_Cat_(cropped)
Larry the Cat. Credit: No. 10 Downing St./Wikimedia Commons

The chief mouser eventually found his hunting groove, and almost thirteen years later four prime ministers have come and gone, but Larry remains.

Rishi Sunak, the fifth prime minister of the Larry Era, called elections for July 10 and if his conservative party — currently behind in the polls — doesn’t maintain control of the House of Commons after the votes are counted, Larry will wave goodbye to Sunak and welcome the sixth prime minister under his watch.

Larry’s outlasted David Cameron, Theresa May, Liz Truss and Boris Johnson. Sunak assumed office in 2022.

At this point, No. 10 Downing St. should probably be renamed Larry’s House.

He seems to have a knack for knowing who’s going to stick around and who won’t last. When Truss bent down to pet Larry shortly after assuming office in late 2022, Larry gave her the cold shoulder. Truss lasted only 50 days, the shortest tenure of any prime minister in UK history.

The famous little guy is now 17 years old, but the staff who feed and care for him, and the veterinarians who help keep him in mouse-hunting shape, say he’s hale and healthy.

If the next prime minister is smart, he or she should look to Larry for advice on enduring popularity — and political survival.

Header photo of former US President Barack Obama and former UK Prime Minister David Cameron with Larry the Cat credit: Peter Souza/Official White House photo.

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Larry, perched on the window sill on the left, photobombed former Prime Minister Theresa May during a visit by former US President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump. Credit: White House press photo/Wikimedia Commons
Larry on patrol
Larry was looking strong as he patrolled his territory in December of 2023. Credit: Justin Ng/Twitter

Sunday Cats: Larry Welcomes A New Servant To No. 10 Downing, More Cats Rescued From Ukraine

Happy National Cat Day! PLUS: Some changes to PITB.

Larry the Cat, official mouser in chief at 10 Downing Street, is now on his fifth prime minister.

After the disastrous and short-lived tenure of his predecessor, Lizz Truss, new PM Rishi Sunak officially moved into the UK prime minister’s residence earlier this week — and walked right past Larry without acknowledging him:

Note the reporter doing a live broadcast, which you can hear in the background.

“He is arriving now…the new prime minister of the United Kingdom!” the reporter said as Larry padded his way down the sidewalk and stopped.

Failing to acknowledge the true power at No. 10 is an ill portend for Sunak and the UK. What kind of person doesn’t greet his boss on his first official day of work? Larry will get him sorted in short time, undoubtedly.

Big and small cats from Ukraine find homes in Poland and the US

During the opening phase of the Ukraine war, there was an Indian national webcasting from Donbas, constantly asking for money to keep his “pet jaguars” — actually leopards — safe from the advancing Russians.

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It was one of the most infuriating aspects of the young war. The guy was keeping the big cats in an apartment, referred to them as his “children” despite not even knowing their species or how to care for them, and he lied to his audience, claiming he’d purchased them from the Kyiv Zoo. He didn’t. Zoos don’t sell big cats to people. He got them on the illegal wildlife market.

I don’t know if those particular leopards are among the big cats rescued from Kyiv in recent weeks, but a new report says illegally kept pets are among the felids who were rescued from Kyiv and Odessa — two of the hardest-hit cities — and brought to sanctuaries in Poland.

That’s good news. Hopefully any remaining wild animals are taken out of the hands of private owners and put in sanctuaries where they belong. Big cats don’t belong in a war zone, and they don’t belong in private hands.

Meanwhile, Homeward Trails Animal Rescue in Washington, D.C., has house cats from Ukraine up for adoption.

Most of the little ones were rescued from warn-torn areas in the eastern part of the country, and the rest were moved from a Ukrainian shelter just in time, as the building was hit by Russian missiles shortly after the animals were cleared out. Some of the cats were found wandering amid the ruins and destruction in towns and villages that had been hit hard by the invading Russians, Homeward Trails’ Sue Bell told WTOP.

The US non-profit will continue to work with a shelter in Ukraine, which rescues cats from heavily impacted areas.

“Right now, Homeward Trails is the only organization taking cats from this new Ukraine shelter,” Bell said. “And so, for every cat that we took from the shelter, that not only gave that cat an opportunity for a home, but it created a space in that shelter for the team to go out there and bring more cats in.”

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A belated happy National Cat Day!

There are so many cat days, I lose track, so apologies for missing this one.

Happy National Cat Day to all PITB readers and your beautiful kitties! It’s a good excuse to spoil our little buddies and remind them how much we appreciate them.

Changes to PITB

You may have noticed, if you don’t have ad blockers installed on your browser, that I enabled ads in mid-September. I strongly dislike ads and I don’t like clutter on the site, but after three years of operating and publishing PITB, I decided to enable a limited number of ads in an effort to get PITB to pay for itself and hopefully a few upgrades that would be helpful in making the site more accessible, while also providing the tools to expand PITB’s content offerings.

Please send us your feedback. If you see an ad that covers the content, let me know. If you see an inappropriate ad, let me know. You should see ads for cat-related products and/or ads for things you may have expressed interest in before — due to the way ad networks use cookies and data from services you use, which is perfectly normal — but I want to make sure no one’s having a bad experience here.

Larry The Downing Street Cat Outlasts Another PM, Plus: The Reason For The Loaf

Loafing Larry’s outlasted Liz and Liz’s lettuce. Lucky lad!

No. 10 Downing Street in London is supposed to be the official residence and office of the UK’s prime minister, but we think it should be called Larry’s House.

Larry, the official mouser in chief since 2011, has now outlasted four prime ministers: David Cameron, Theresa May, Boris Johnson, and the short-tenured Liz Truss, who lasted just 44 days. (And became the butt of jokes when The Daily Star set up a live webcast of a head of iceberg lettuce, betting that Truss’s time as PM would be over by the time the lettuce wilted. The lettuce won.)

Now Larry, the de facto leader of the UK, will be served by a fifth prime minister. There’s also a chance he’ll see his fifth prime ministerial term, if not officially a fifth prime minister, if Johnson manages to return to power. Apparently there’s a real chance of that happening.

Why the loaf?

Buddy Loafing
How dare you suggest Buddy is chubby!

If you’ve ever wondered why your cat likes to lay in the famous loaf position, Jackson Galaxy has weighed in on the matter. (There’s a British theme here too. For some reason Galaxy, real name Richard Kirschner, uses a British accent to explain loafing behavior, and it’s…not good.)

“The first thing that we want to look at is the position itself; we’ve got paws tucked under the whole body resting basically on arms,” Galaxy says in a video. “This look right here is decidedly cat. Because what this is saying is I’m not going anywhere.”

Cats loaf to conserve body heat while remaining in a position that allows them to quickly get up if need be. Galaxy cautions, however, that a “half loaf” position could indicate your cat isn’t feeling too hot, health-wise.

If a cat is half-loafing, he says, that could mean she’s not getting completely comfortable because she feels vulnerable, and for evolutionary reasons (cats are both predator and prey) cats in pain feel particularly vulnerable. Most predators go for the easy kill, which is why cats go to great lengths to disguise pain and discomfort, as opposed to us humans, who whine and complain and make sure everyone knows how lousy we feel.

Bud Attentive Loafing
Meowscles coiled, ready to unleash feline fury!