‘Personal Space is Sacred!’
Hey! Unhand me, human! Did I say you could assault my cheeks and ears?!?
Well, yes, usually I do like when you give me scritches, but right now I could do without your sweaty, no-fur-having, clumsy human paw.
As a matter of fact, get away from me! I was here first! This is my couch, I merely let you occupy it out of the goodness of my heart because I’m such an unselfish feline. I would like to remain undisturbed until further notice!
What is it with humans and personal space, huh? What kind of malfunction leads your supposedly intelligent and “superior” species to sidle up uninvited and just start stroking feline fur? Did we call you over? Did we paw deliver a “Come pet me!” card in golf leaf ink? Did I personally invite you to groom me?
I think not.
We’re gonna have to start working on boundaries, human. Now fetch me a snack while I mull this over.
‘You’re My Mattress, Human!’
Nothing’s better after a long day of eating and sleeping than having a nice dinner and settling down on your lap for a comfortable nap. Don’t get me wrong,
your my bed isn’t bad. The chair is comfy. I even nap on your computer chair from time to time, especially after you vacate it and it’s nice and warm. The rug underneath the table even has its charms.
But nothing beats sleeping in your lap, or on your legs, or on your chest, or even sleeping on your back and using your butt as a pillow. When you woke up the other night and could hardly breathe because I was draped over your face, that was pretty funny, wasn’t it?
Yep. It’s nice that we’re such good pals, human and cat, that I can use you as my mattress!
As you know, it’s impossible for me to catch some Zs without sleeping directly on top of you, burrowed into your side, or even with a paw resting on you if it’s a hot summer night. That way you can’t get out of bed without me knowing about it, and you can’t sneak off to the bathroom without me.
What’s a bit of personal space between feline and human friends?