Jerry Seinfeld – Pain In The Bud

Festivus 2024: Little Bud’s Got A Lot Of Problems With You People!

On Dec. 23, it’s a Festivus for the Rest of Us.

It’s that time of year when we celebrate a Festivus for the Rest of Us!

As seasoned Festivus pros know, the holiday falls on Dec. 23 and eschews the commercialism that’s taken over the season. Instead of a tree or a menorah, Festivus decorating consists of a single unadorned pole. In the words of founder Frank Costanza: “I find tinsel distracting.”

At the Festivus gathering, family and friends get together for a meal, which ends with the Airing of Grievances, in which you tell your loved ones all the ways they’ve disappointed you over the past year.

“I’ve got a lot of problems with you people,” Frank Costanza said during Festivus 1997, “and now you’re gonna hear about it!”

So we’ll hand it over to Little Bud for his grievances:

To Big Buddy: Ten Christmases! Ten, and still no Roomba! You, sir, are a man of empty promises and crushed dreams. Year after year I made my Christmas list, and I remind you of all the ways I’ve been a good boy. I don’t go on the counter tops, ever. I leave the Christmas tree alone. And when I smack you in the face to wake you up, I don’t smack you too hard. What else do I need to do?

The Pirates of Somalia: I thought we had something, guys! Aye, some of me best memories are of sailing the high seas with me mates, looking for plunder on cargo and cruise ships. I didn’t even get a Christmas card from you this year!

The Jaguars of Amazonia: You guys are my true homies! You welcomed me with open paws. We hunted together, we napped together, we took ayahuasca and ran around the jungle hallucinating giant turkeys. You even made me an honorary jaguar and named me Kinich Bajo, or “Tiny sun-eyed one.” And you sure do know how to provide muscle! Every cat and dog for 15 miles is scared of me because I roll with you. I love you guys!

The Tigers of the Bronx Zoo: I offered a paw in friendship, and what did you do? You let one of your females abduct me and take me back to her cave, where she treated me like one of her cubs and bathed me in her saliva. It was horrible! Do you know how many actual baths it took to get rid of the stink? I still have PTSD!

The Readers of PITB: Maybe I’m mistaken, but it feels like you don’t tell me how charming and awesome I am as much as you used to.

Smudge from Apartment 1S: You, sir, are pushing your luck. This floor isn’t big enough for the two of us, and at some point there’s going to be a reckoning. You should be really scared.

Festivus 2023: Little Buddy Has Grievances, People!

Today is a Festivus for the rest of us! Get out tbe Festivus pole and prepare for the Feats of Strength and the Airing of Grievances!

Happy Festivus!

December 23 marks the famously anti-consumerist holiday, and this year is the 27th Festivus since it became a national holiday thanks to the Seinfeld episode “The Strike,” which aired on Dec. 18, 1997.

Before that, it was the invention and personal holiday of Daniel O’Keefe, a Reader’s Digest editor. His son Dan, a writer for Seinfeld, introduced Festivus to the rest of us by making it a focal point of the episode.

Festivus is enthusiastically celebrated at la casa de Buddy, providing Little Buddy the opportunity to engage in the Airing of Grievances and, as is tradition, tell everyone how they’ve disappointed him over the past year.

Buddy the Cat with George, Elaine, Jerry and Kramer in the season five episode “The Litter Box.” In the episode, Buddy, Kramer and Kramer’s friend Bob Saccamano scheme to charge felines entry to the beach, billing it as a “luxury litter box.”

With that, we’ll turn it over to Little Buddy’s list of Grievances. No one is spared.

Big Buddy: For being insufficiently devastated when I got sick a few months ago. I expected more tears. Do better next time.

PITB readers: It has recently come to my attention that some of you are laughing at me, not with me. This disturbing news has caused me to question whether you’re being honest when you send correspondence praising my ripped physique or insisting I should be president of the Americats again.

The Internet: For not making me as famous as I should be.

Big Buddy: For being a vegetarian and not having extra turkey in the house!

Big Buddy and PITB readers (again) for tolerating stories about non-cat species and cats who aren’t Buddy! Who cares about owls in Central Park and chonky cats in Poland? This is littlebuddythecat.com NOT fatpolishcats.com!

Happy Festivus 2022!

A Festivus for the rest of us who reject the relentless commercialization of the holidays.

Are you fed up with the relentless commercialization of the holiday season? Take heart: You’re not alone!

The late Jerry Stiller, in his iconic role as Seinfeld‘s Frank Costanza, explained the origin of his anti-consumerist celebration in a now-infamous 1997 episode titled “The Strike“:

“Many Christmases ago I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way … Out of that, a new holiday was born. A Festivus for the rest of us!”

On the surface Festivus — celebrated annually on Dec. 23 — looks like any other family gathering for the holidays, but the details make it special. They include a Festivus pole instead of a tree, the Feats of Strength — in which a younger relative attempts to pin the family patriarch — and the Airing of Grievances:

“At the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and you tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year,” Frank explains.

Festivus is completely absurd, which is what makes it fun, but it’s also a strong reaction against the all-encompassing commercialization of the holiday season. Every year it seems like the retail industry nudges the season a little further back. At first it was a few weeks, then the end of Thanksgiving marked the beginning of the holidays.

Now it’s not unusual to see lights, wreaths and images of Santa popping up in early November, setting the tone for more sales, more gifts, and more spending.

Of course if you’re reading this site, you’re a cat lover and you’re probably intimately familiar with the non-stop meowing of a dissatisfied cat. Not enough food, not enough snacks, not enough space on the bed, not enough scritches. To a cat, the Airing of Grievances can take place on any day of the year — and it often does. But that doesn’t mean there can’t be a special edition of it on Festivus.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to sit down to the Festivus table and get berated by Bud. I’m told his list of grievances is quite long this year.

Happy Festivus!