Feline Weirdness – Page 7 – Pain In The Bud

Buddy Caught Editing His Own Wiki Entry

When Wikipedia didn’t acknowledge Buddy’s accomplishments, the sneaky tabby took things into his own paws.

NEW YORK — Buddy the Cat was temporarily banned from Wikipedia on Tuesday after he was caught editing his own Wiki entry, the site’s moderators confirmed.

The vandalism was spotted over the weekend, when an editor noticed the infamous tabby cat’s entry had been significantly altered. The original entry, moderators said, met Wikipedia’s standards for neutral language and facts attributed to authentic sources:

“Buddy the Cat (born February 2014) is a domestic shorthair house cat best known for a disastrous term as president of the Americats [1], several appearances on Modern Cat magazine’s annual list of the 100 Most Ridiculous Cats [2], and as the leader of an alleged catnip smuggling ring responsible for importing more than 300 tons of catnip and silvervine annually, according to authorities. [3]”

The new version of the Wiki entry was immediately flagged due to its inclusion of unverified and unsourced claims:

“Buddy the Cat (born on the summer solstice of 2014 on the peak of Mount Olympos, Greece, during a meteor shower) is a purebred Buddinese tiger best known for a tremendously successful term as president of the Americats, a triumphant appearance on TIME magazine’s list of the 100 Most Influential Cats, and as an international feline sex symbol whose rugged good looks and muscular physique have earned him the admiration of female cats from New York to Tokyo.

Already an icon and movie action star, Buddy was elected as leader of the free cats in a surge of unprecedented patriotism and enthusiasm in 2016, as his campaign slogan — Make Yums Delicious Again — resonated with cats from coast to coast who were tired of the same old kibble. To date he is the only Americat president who has made turkey and bacon rain down from the sky.”

Moderator u/Librarian28 affixed a warning to the entry before reversing the vandalism and restoring the original content to the Wiki entry.

Edit, 11/22/2020: Entry has been vandalized and does no longer meet Wikipedia standards. Update, 11/24: The vandalism has been reversed and the original content restored.

The fix was short-lived, however, and within a few hours the second entry had been restored, along with a new subsection detailing Buddy’s acting career and his exploits as a covert operative for the Feline Bureau of Investigation (FBI).

stagedive — Buddy energizes the crowd by stage diving during a performance by his band,

“Early life and education

After earning a degree in litter box etiquette and play time socializing from the University of SPCA’s Kitten Kindergarten Behavior School, Buddy earned his meowster’s degree from the FBI (Feline Bureau of Investigation) school of cat crime and worked ultra-secrete awesome clandestine missions for the bureau. During this time he was known only by the mysterious moniker “Grey Tiger” and was feared by felines the world over.

Buddy subsequently left the bureau to pursue a career as a Hong Kong action star, appearing in films such as The Way of the Claw and Enter the Tabby. In 2017, he earned international fame as Shiva, a tiger companion to the character Ezekiel on The Walking Dead. That summer he earned rave reviews for his performance in Cats, the long-running musical at New York City’s Winter Garden Theatre.”

Soon after the second set of edits to the Wikipedia page, moderators issued a two-week ban for the domestic shorthair cat, who had also been cited for vandalizing the Wiki entry for the Los Gatos and the cartel’s leader, Pawblo Escobar.

Johnny Clawchrane, Buddy’s attorney, denied that his client was behind the online vandalism.

“Ipso facto, my client remains innocent until proven guilty, and under the statutes of e pluribus unum a priori a la carte, he is entitled to an appeal post haste ad mausoleum, quid pro quo per se.”

Floppy Fish II: The Floppening

If your cat is terrified by Floppy Fish, use it as a Ssscat to protect your stuff from getting swiped to the floor!

I promised an update on Buddy and his new Floppy Fish toy, confident he would get over his trepidation and start playing with it eventually. More than half a dozen attempts later I’ve succeeded only in making him more skittish.

Our readers will recall Buddy got his first look at his new toy last week, and he was terrified of it.

He stepped back warily as I flipped the on switch and placed the flopping fish on the floor. When it stopped thrashing — which it does after a few seconds to save battery life, relying on a motion sensor to tell it to move again — Buddy slowly, cautiously edged his way over.

With a wary eye on the toy fish, Buddy gave it a nudge with his paw, then jumped back as it sprang to life again, making a mechanical SWISH-SWISH sound as it thrashed.

I tried to get him interested in the fish the next day and again the following night. It was late. Buddy hopped up to the coffee table and padded over to me, nuzzling me with his cheeks in hello.

He’s relaxed, I thought. Good opportunity to try the fish again!

I should have kept the power off. He wasn’t playing with the fish, but he wasn’t hissing at it or running away.

Stupidly I allowed impatience to get the better of me. I switched it on, and he freaked out and ran away. After that he wouldn’t even go near the thing even as it sat dormant. He probably thinks it’s like Ssscat, the motion-triggered compressed air spray that startles cats to keep them off kitchen counter tops, tables and other surfaces.

Come to think of it, maybe I can find a use for the fish yet. If I want to protect a fragile item on a flat surface, all I need to do is place the fish in front of it and Bud will never go near the thing. 🙂

Modern Box: The Magazine For Discerning Felines

Buddy the Cat, publisher and editor-in-chief of the all-new Modern Box Magazine, seeks cats of considerable taste for the ultimate feline lifestyle magazine.

Buddy the Cat, publisher and editor-in-chief of the all-new Modern Box Magazine, seeks cats of considerable taste for the ultimate feline lifestyle publication. The editorial department seeks cats for the following positions: Investigative Eater, Box Reviewer, Keyboard Warmer, Leisure Editor. Must have at least three years’ experience sleeping, eating and lounging in a human home.