Mom Cat Brings Her Sick Babies To Health Clinic

Cats understand a lot more than we give them credit for.

Even those of us who love cats often joke about how aloof they are, and then they go and do something that shows such a profound understanding of human behavior that we’re left thunderstruck.

That was the case in Turkey’s Izmir province, where a ginger tabby dragged her two babies into a health clinic this week one at a time, according to a report in the English-language Turkish news site Daily Sabah:

The official said that they noticed the animal while they were attending to patients as she started “constantly meowing.” When they saw something was wrong with kittens, they took a closer look and discovered the kittens’ eyes were closed tightly. “We gave them some drugs and they started opening their eyes and later, we transferred them to the veterinary department. It was the first time that an animal walked into our clinic, and it was a very emotional moment for us,” the official said.

Both kittens had eye infections and fully recovered.

This isn’t the first time cats have asked humans for help, nor is it the first time a mom cat brought her kittens into a hospital or clinic.

On April 27, 2020, a female cat walked into the emergency room of Kucukcekmece Hospital in Istanbul while carrying her kitten in her mouth, then deposited the “mischievous” little one right in front of a group of hospital employees who were chatting.

Hospital staff gave the mom food and water while they examined her baby.

A mom cat takes her baby to the hospital

istanbul_hospital5

And in May of 2020, a cat in Mexico shocked a woman with his understanding of how the human world works. After she saw him in front of a store and bent down to pet him, he led her into the store, guided her to the pet food aisle and pointed to the exact type of food he wanted.

Not only did this cat understand that he had to be accompanied by a human to get into the store, and precisely where to direct her, but he also knew the packaging of his favorite food and understood that she had to buy it for him. He may not understand the concept of currency, but he does know a human has to get him the food and he can’t just tear into it.

The woman was so moved that she adopted the smart little guy and named him Rabbit.

Rabbit the Cat
Rabbit points to the food he wanted a kind woman to buy for him.

These examples not only show how astonishingly intelligent and observant cats are — or can be, when they’re motivated — they also make it difficult for anyone to cling to old beliefs that cats and other mammals are unthinking, unfeeling automatons. Or the dreaded, all too common “it’s just a cat.”

If cats understand hospitals and health clinics are places where the sick and injured are treated, and they understand abstract social concepts like “a human must obtain this for me,” it makes you wonder what else they observe and fully understand in those furry little heads.

Purrlock Holmes and The Fowl of The Baskerville

Purrlock and Watson take a new case!

“And the turkey, it were just gone, just like that!” said the fat cat relaying his story to Purrlock in the sitting room at 221B Baker St. “The bowl was full of fresh, delicious turkey one minute, then licked clean the next. Third time this week. I’m at me wit’s end!”

Purrlock plucked a discordant note on his cello and shifted in his seat.

“It’s all perfectly obvious then, isn’t it?”

The pudgy cat looked hopeful, his primordial pouch jiggling as he leaned forward.

“It is?”

“Indeed. Your roommate Socks is known for fastidious grooming, yet he had a Klingon on his rear two hours after the turkey went missing, which means someone was using the litterbox more frequently and Socks was far less careful than normal in his haste to exit the befouled box. From the abundance of tracked litter outside the box we can deduce that another cat made use of it on several more occasions between the time it was last cleaned at 10 pm the previous evening and 10 am this morning.

“In addition, only two of the three bowls — yours and Socks’ — were licked clean, with several morsels of beef pate still left in Oreo’s bowl. Thus we can deduce Oreo ate your turkey and most of his beef pate, necessitating twice his usual trips to the litter box, accounting for the larger-than-usual mess inside, Socks’ unfortunate Klingon, and the extra tracked litter. Ergo, Oreo was your turkey thief. Next!”

Elementary, my dear Watson
Purrlockian attire.

Mr. Fuzzy stood up as Purrlock returned to plucking his cello.

“That were amazing, that was!” Fuzzy said to Watson as he shuffled out of the sitting room. “Now it’s time for me to have a little talk with me mate Oreo. Good day, Mr. Holmes, Mr. Watson!”

Watson waited until Fuzzy had descended the steps leading out from 221B Baker Street before clearing his throat.

“Forty six seconds,” he said, managing to sound impressed. “Might be a new record.”

Purrlock didn’t look up from his cello.

“Please. London’s criminals are becoming tediously predictable, Watson. If a criminal mastermind doesn’t emerge soon, I’ll have to go and rob a tin cannery myself just to alleviate this dreadful boredom!”

“Your brother Meowcroft phoned earlier. Said he had a case of national importance.”

Purrlock sighed. “Boring!”

Watson jumped onto his desk, pawing through a pile of letters and documents.

“How about this then, Purrlock? From this morning’s paper: ‘Mistmoor Gentlecat Found Dead, Witnesses ID ‘Spectral Hound’ As Culprit.'”

Purrlock played arpeggios.

“Yokels convincing themselves they saw ghostly Beagles? We can do better than that, my dear Watson.”

Tires screeched and a car horn blasted in the street below, followed by obscenities in at least three languages.

“That’s too bad,” Watson meowed, feigning disinterest. “Mistmoor’s home to one of the nation’s largest turkey farms, you know.”

Purrlock’s ears pricked up and swiveled.

“Did you say turkey? My dear Watson, when there’s turkey involved, always lead with that!”

He put down his cello and reached for his coat and hat.

“What are we waiting for, Watson? The game is apaw!”

To be continued…

Oh, The Horror!

Mitzy the Cat has serious piano skillz.

Mitzy the Cat has a bright future in scoring horror movies if she wants to. Check out her eerie, tension-building keyboard work here:

Her technique is far superior to Bud’s, which consists mostly of running across the keyboard to create stabs of discordant noise. If Mitzy’s horror music is a tense, slow burn, then Bud’s is a cheap jump-scare.

Perhaps Mitzy’s score could be put to use if anyone ever reboots the 1988 cat-centric horror cheese, The Uninvited. Yes, this is a real movie:

The Uninvited

Cat Performs Record 26 Tricks In A Minute

Buddy the Cat refuses to learn more tricks in an effort to surpass an Austrian-Australian cat who set the world record for tricks.

“Hey Bud, c’mere!”

“I’m lounging.”

“Get your lazy ass up and come here!”

“This better be good…”

“Check it out, little dude: This cat performs 26 tricks in 60 seconds.”

“That’s a world record. Whattya think, wanna try to beat it?”

“No.”

“Aw, come on! You can already do stop, sit, high-five and fist bump. It’ll be fun. You only need to learn 23 more.”

“Sounds like a lot of work. I’m just not that ambitious, Grand Amigo.”

“Seriously? You’re gonna let some Austrian cat claim the title of world’s smartest kitty?”

“I’m sure she needs it. What else is there to do in that backwater country except drink Foster’s and punch kangaroos?”

“Austrian, not Australian.”

“That’s what I said. G’day, matey! Beautiful day to skip uni, how ’bout we throw some shrimp on the barbie and drink our non-alcoholic beer?”

“Austria. It’s a different country, you idiot.”

“Now you’re just trying to confuse me so I’ll agree to learn more tricks. I will not fall for another one of your schemes, human!”

Buddy the Cat

Dear Buddy: How Do I Train My Humans?

Manipulating humans isn’t easy. It takes many years of dedicated practice and refinement, Buddy tells a young kitten.

Dear Buddy,

I’m an 8-month-old kitten and I have two human servants, a man and a woman, who are usually pretty good about following my instructions and commands, but sometimes I try to speak to them in their infernal language and they look at me like I’m crazy.

I say “Gimme more snacks now, minions!” and they laugh and pat me on the head, calling me a good boy.

I am not a good boy! I am their overlord and they must learn their place! You’re very good at commanding your human. Got any tips?

Commander Kitten in Cleveland


Dear Commander Kitten,

You’ve come to the right cat! I am the world’s foremost expert on human compliance. They call me the People Whisperer.

Normally these tips will set you back four installments of $29.95 for my 10 DVD instructional set, “The Art of Human Mind Control,” but I’m in a magnanimous mood today and it’s my responsibility to pass my wisdom on to the next generation.

First of all, meows alone aren’t going to get you anywhere unless you’ve really worked on your Solicitation Purr, but that should only be used sparingly or it loses its effectiveness. (And also places you in danger of being locked in the bathroom.)

What you need to do is work on your poses. Humans are simple creatures. They expect us to be “cute” and “adorable.” We can lay the headless bodies of creatures we’ve slaughtered at their feet, proving we are remorseless and efficient killers, and they still talk to us in baby voices and condescendingly pat us on the head for being “good widdle hunters.” Idiots.

So as degrading as it may seem, play the cute angle. Flop down in front of them, roll over so they can see your belly and your toe beans, and let out a little “Mrrrrp!” while fixing them with your wide-eyed gaze.

Watch them melt. Wait for them to say whatever risible thing they like to say (“Oh Mr. Fuzzy you’re such a cutie patootie!”), and then you push for the snacks or the catnip or whatever.

Bonus points if you can prompt them to take photos of you with their smartphones. A 2020 study by the Buddy Institute for Manipulative Behavior Research found that the percentage of phone photos humans dedicate to their feline masters directly correlates with human trainability. For example, 92 percent of my human’s phone photos depict yours truly.

Make sure you nuzzle them or something, so they can continue with the comforting fiction that we love them more than food. (Okay, fine. I am fond of my human, but he still has a lot of room for improvement when it comes to serving me.)

And remember: Giving them some sugar is most effective when you’ve played it cool and aloof most of the day. Once you’ve mastered basic human manipulation you can ease into the advanced stuff, like guilting them when they eat in front of you. Practice your sad eyes, young padawan.

Good luck!

Buddy