Doesn’t Anyone Teach You About Personal Space?
All right, dude, enough! Damn!
You were doing a good job there for a little bit but by the 4th second you should have known it was time to cease scratching my head.
Do humans not teach their offspring about personal space or something? I am a cat, not a stuffed animal!
From now on there will be an automatic three-second cutoff during petting sessions, and I will enforce a two-foot buffer zone so my space is respected. You leave me no choice!
I Can’t Sleep Unless I’m Draped Over You
Are you settled? Comfortable? Ready to go to sleep?
Good.
I’m just gonna climb up here and sort of just unroll myself across your body. It’s the only way I can fall asleep these days.
I think part of it is the gentle rhythm of your breathing, your chest rising and falling, that really relaxes me, although that little current of air when you exhale is annoying. Try to breathe less annoyingly, okay?
If you wake up during the night and I’m wrapped around your head like a hat, do not be alarmed. Your hair is soft and your brain generates heat. This is prime real estate.
Likewise, there may be times when I walk on your face, lick your nose, groom your beard, or jump on you with a back paw landing right where the sun don’t shine. As you fold up like an accordion in shock, and blink in the dark with your 20/800 uncorrected vision, remind yourself that it’s just your best little pal trying to get comfortable.
Mi casa es su casa, eh? I’m your feline friend! Your best bud! Now if you don’t mind, stop tossing and turning so I can get my beauty sleep. Thank you for your anticipated cooperation.
Pain In The Bud 
I sleep on the couch because of my back. Very comfy. So my cat has my bed upstairs. He rather sleep near my feet or arm of couch so he can bother me for more wet food. Whats a human to do?😂
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Of course. If you fill their dry food bowls and put down fresh water before bed, then naturally they’ll wake you for wet food.
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Yes. I put fresh water but i can hear him going into kitchen sink to try to drink from something. Cannot leave anything in sink and i need to keep bathroom door shut. He will try to drink toilet water. Not sure if anyone figured out why cats do that. Same with my outdoor feral. Caught him licking snow! He always gets a bowl of fresh water.
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Hilarious! Thank you.
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He’s been brutal lately!
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Sounds about right. Cats feel they are the arbiter of all things territorial. And it’s all based on their comfort.
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I keep thinking of Johnny Depp as Hunter S. Thompson in Fear and Loathing, when he drives his car onto the curb and parks right in front of the casino doors, then when one of the casino staff protests, he says “Is this not a reasonable place to park?”
A cat will sit on your face and be like “Is this not a reasonable place to lounge?”
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Ahahaha! There were some mishaps with an editor in readying my books for publication … One was that she didn’t understand why I described at length, several cats trying to arrange and negotiate their sleeping positions around humans for the night … She didn’t know cats …
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That’s when you get “the look” from non-cat people, who are incredulous that anyone would tolerate feline quirkiness. “Oh, just throw them off the bed…”
Yeah right!
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Tell me about it …………..
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It’s good to know that, as humans, there is a purpose to our lives. Sadly, the cats of my acquaintance all agree that I could do better, and I’m guessing your little buddy feels just the same about you.
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I used to sleep on my stomach.
First cat in the bedroom would claim the prime real estate, i.e. my back.
Second and third cat were relegated to the back of my legs.
I would be pinned down for at least two hours, or until some invisible something in the apartment required their attention.
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