Toss Another Log On The Fire, Will You, Servant?

“What?!? We don’t have a fireplace?

Is that not a contingency you should have planned for, as part of your servantly duties to me, Buddy the Cat, First of His Name, Ruler of the Apartmental Realm, Distinguished Former President of the Americats, Prime Despiser of Vacuum the Infernal Wizard, Connoisseur of Turkey and Magnificent Buddinese Tiger?

It’s six degrees out! Even with the heater and the space heater, it feels like we’re in a refrigerator!

Ah, yes, I’ve helped myself to your seat. You snooze, you lose. It’s warm with your butt-heat, see, and besides, which seat is mine if not the one I’ve scratched approximately 20,000 times to the point where the fake leather is literally flaking off?

What are you doing? Wrapping me up? Well, that’s…a nice gesture, servant! Yes. Yes, this will do nicely. I feel like a newborn in swaddling clothes!

Now be a doll and fetch me some snacks so I don’t have to get up and you don’t have to wrap me up again. You’ve done well for yourself today, human. I am not displeased.”

— Buddy the Cat


25 thoughts on “Toss Another Log On The Fire, Will You, Servant?”

  1. Oh yes, I understand those commands very well. Bella will sneak into your spot on the sofa if you move. She will also expect snacks on your return ( but won’t move…) – the Egyptians were right, we are just servants of mini furry Gods

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I know how he feels!
    Puspus (who has doubled in size since I adopted him) will sleep on me and use me as a hot water bottle LOL
    And I have started to walk around in fleece pyjamas all the time!
    I live in France and although I am near the south its been -7 outside and Its difficult to heat inside !
    Vive le printemps!
    Keep up the good work the Buddies!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I did actually wrap Bud up like a furry burrito recently and he liked it, which inspired this post, but he’s like your Puspus as far as being on me like a heat-seeking missile when it’s cold. Looks like half the globe is in a deep freeze this weekend. Stay warm!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. And he has the WHOLE bed. I sleep downstairs because of back issues. But he comes down at night to sleep with me on flannel sheets. Needless to say he gets his favorite treats downstairs.

        Liked by 3 people

  3. If BellaSita tried ‘swaddlin’ mee; shee wuud get a ‘swattlin’ shee wuud nevurr furget Buddy!
    Big Buddy yore so guud to Buddy.
    Wee are inn DEEEEP FREEZE up here an iss -5.8 Fahrenheit an with windychill it feelss like -23.8 deegreess…..iss so furry furry chilley. Even wish Sunshine, iss freezin!
    Many if wee HAD a fireplace mee wuud bee meowin “Throw another loggie on THE fire!!” two Buddy…..
    ~~~head rubss~~~BellaDharma~~~ an ((hugss)) BellaSita Mum

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Loved “he’s made extensive use of his human mattress these last few days.” My little panther guy loves to cuddle right next to me, but has yet to discover what a wonderful mattress I can be.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ve seen people recommend putting some treats in your lap, letting the cat take them and jump off right away, which is what they’ll always do if they’re not lap cats. But the idea is that, if it happens enough, they realize they can hang out and you’re not gonna stop them from leaving when they want.

        Liked by 1 person

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