“What?!? We don’t have a fireplace?
Is that not a contingency you should have planned for, as part of your servantly duties to me, Buddy the Cat, First of His Name, Ruler of the Apartmental Realm, Distinguished Former President of the Americats, Prime Despiser of Vacuum the Infernal Wizard, Connoisseur of Turkey and Magnificent Buddinese Tiger?
It’s six degrees out! Even with the heater and the space heater, it feels like we’re in a refrigerator!
Ah, yes, I’ve helped myself to your seat. You snooze, you lose. It’s warm with your butt-heat, see, and besides, which seat is mine if not the one I’ve scratched approximately 20,000 times to the point where the fake leather is literally flaking off?
What are you doing? Wrapping me up? Well, that’s…a nice gesture, servant! Yes. Yes, this will do nicely. I feel like a newborn in swaddling clothes!
Now be a doll and fetch me some snacks so I don’t have to get up and you don’t have to wrap me up again. You’ve done well for yourself today, human. I am not displeased.”
— Buddy the Cat