In honor of International Cat Day Buddy shares some of his modeling snaps and shows off his four primary looks: Ferrari, Blue Steel, Le Tigre and the famed Magnum!
On behalf of Little Buddy and myself, Big Buddy, we wish a happy and cat-tastic International Cat Day to our human and feline friends alike.
To celebrate this wonderful holiday, we’re sharing the newest images of Buddy as the face of Friskies Haute Couture.
An admirer initiates a courtship ritual with Buddy, who is completely oblivious.
Dear Buddy,
My, you’re a handsome one. And single, too. Why don’t you and I get together?
– Cali the Calico
Dear Cali,
Thanks! Get together to do what, exactly?
– Buddy
Dear Buddy,
No need to be so coy, we’re both adults. To make more kitties, of course!
– Cali
Dear Cali,
I’m confused. Big Buddy says the Kitty Stork delivers the kittens. Won’t the stork be mad that we’re taking his job?
Buddy
Dear Buddy,
Oh you little joker! Now seriously, I’m in heat so where will we meet?
Cali
Cali,
The heat wave is really bad! You should drink lots of water and make sure you get enough protein.
– Buddy
Buddy,
Okay, do you seriously not understand how kittens are made? Didn’t anyone ever have ‘the talk’ with you about the birds and the bees?
Cali
Cali,
Now you’re confusing me. I know about the stork. No one ever said bees were involved. I don’t like bees.
Buddy
Jerk Face,
Wow, what a man-child! I’ll bet you play video games too with your precious “Big Buddy.” Losers!
– Cali
Cali,
We love playing video games! But we win more than we lose! If you wanted to come over to play video games, why didn’t you just say so?
Hello?
Hello?!
Cali??
Was it something I said?
He was small and his mew was only a squeak, but he already had a very big heart and lots of love to give.
Dear Buddy,
How did your hooman adopt you? What happened?
Head bump,
Stasi in ‘Stralia
Dear Stasi,
At the dawn of time in 1 AB (Anno Buddy), a mommy cat gave birth to a litter of feisty felines. They were strapping young kitties, and when the time came for them to pair up with humans and move to their new homes, they went one-by-one.
All except one, the smallest and runtiest of the bunch. He was sick and he had a limp, but he was a happy little boy. Every day he waved goodbye to his brothers and sisters, and wondered if anyone would want him. He was small and his mew was only a squeak, but he already had a very big heart and lots of love to give.
Then it happened. A mysterious stranger enquired about the runt and almost two weeks later he arrived in person to take the little kitten home. The little kitten was scared. This human put music on in the car ride home, and his singing voice was terrible!
The kitten cried.
“Don’t worry,” the human said as he drove. “Me and you are going to be best buddies! You’ll see!”
After arriving at a strange new place, claiming every inch of it and pooping under the human’s bed for two weeks, the little kitten knew he had found his home. The human’s bed became his bed. The human became his pillow. Things were turning out okay.
The human fed the kitten healthy food. The kitten’s limp improved, his coat started to look healthy, and his poops were less nasty. The kitten also learned that the box with litter inside it was for the aforementioned pooping, not for making sand castles.
The kitten still had no name. One day the human’s mom observer her son with the kitten, and after her son called the cat “little buddy,” she said: “That’s a perfect name for him: Bud. You guys are the Buddies. Buddy number one and Buddy number two.”
They were henceforth known as Big Buddy and Little Buddy.
The big human and little cat became best friends. One day Big Buddy brought home a harness. Little Buddy didn’t like it. But after a lot of practice, Little Buddy learned to accept the harness and learned how to walk on it next to his Big Buddy.
It was during one of those walks that a human female saw Little Buddy and declared him the cutest kitten ever. Suddenly Little Buddy realized he was very handsome, and embarked on a career as a kitty model that continues to this day.
Soon Little Buddy began pumping iron, and began the transformation to the strong, regal kitty with huge muscles that you’re familiar with today.
And there you have it. Buddy’s origin story.
– Buddy the Brave
Could there ever be more than one Buddy? What an absurd question.
Dear Buddy,
I came across this article about a cloned kitten who looks a lot like you did as a baby, although not as devastatingly handsome.
What do you think about cloning? Do you want to be cloned?
– Wondering in West Virginia
Dear Wondering,
You’re right, that kitten isn’t nearly as good-looking as I am.
What do I think about cloning? Well, the article says these people in North Carolina paid $25,000 to clone their cat, Cinnabun.
Twenty-five grand is a hefty price tag to clone a cat with such a stupid name. Do you know how much turkey that could buy? Well I don’t either, but I know it’s a lot!
Twenty-five thousand big ones could buy me a huge cat condo, one of those fancy window hammocks, a lifetime’s supply of Meowie Wowie and Purple Passion Meowijuana, plus all the toys I want!
But I don’t need that stuff. Although he has many faults, Big Buddy does a fine job of anticipating my desires and always serves my meals precisely on schedule. My bowl runneth over with turkey and salmon. The guys at the shelter, though, they could use it!
Speaking of shelters, you know who’s not getting a real home because these people decided to “create” Cinnabun 2.0? Some poor shelter cat who’s been in a cage for two years. (To their credit, the Bullerdick family, Cinnabun 2.0’s servants, say they donate to the Humane Society.)
The people who had Cinnabun cloned say they were inspired by Barbra Streisand, who cloned her dog for $50,000. What do you have against shelter pets, Barbra Streisand? Hmmm?
And no, I don’t want to be cloned! There’s only one Little Buddy! If Big Buddy clones me, I’ll come back to bite him and poop in his shoes!
– Buddy
On the set of John Wick 3, Keanu Reeves never expected Generalissimo Buddy’s brilliant sneak attack!
Generalissimo Buddy,
Our operation was a success! Using your brilliant plan for ambush, we marshaled our forces in Morocco and waited for the evil Keanu Reeves to arrive and begin shooting his evil dog film, John Wick 3:
John Wick 3 action sequence almost ruined by “f—cking cats”
When they brought out the dogs, we attacked! All 1,000 of us stormed the movie set and unleashed chaos!
Alpha Company lured the dogs off set, leading the dumb beasts on a chase through the back alleys. Fauxtrot Company successfully destroyed $156,214 worth of filming equipment. And the glorious combined forces of Easy Company and Buddy Company kidnapped Keanu Reeves and took him to a secure location in a warehouse several blocks from the set.
I’m told when our soldiers took the blindfold off of Keanu, he looked around, realized his captors were cats, and said: “Whoah!”
Doubtless you have seen the media reports and the debrief in which the director, Chad Stahelski, acknowledged us with grudging praise.
“There were literally a thousand cats, okay?” Stahelski told Entertainment Weekly. “And the cats have balls of steel. They’re not afraid of anything.”
Once we secured the perimeter, we sent a delegation to Stahelski with our demands for the release of Reeves.
I must admit, General, this was the only part of your plan I doubted: Would the director agree to pay the ransom, or would he simply replace Reeves with a piece of cardboard?
After several hours’ deliberation the humans delivered the booty and we released the confused Mr. Reeves to their custody.
“We had walls of cats. Walls of f—ing cats,” Stahelski said. “The amount of f—ing cat food — we were probably feeding more cats than people on set.”
Your cut of the haul — 400 pounds of Temptations Tantalizing Turkey and Surfer’s Delight, 12 cases of Meowijuana and a lifetime’s supply of Buddy Biscuits — is en route to your headquarters in New York, with the delivery personally overseen by Sgt. Mewsain Bolt, our fastest courier.
It was an honor executing your battle plan, sir.
— Capt. Pawl Brooks
Pain In The Bud 