Ahoy, me hearties!
Tis that time of year when I depart the frigid coasts of me headquarters of New York bound for the pirate heaven of Somalia! ‘Tis tradition ever since me Big Buddy temporarily sold me to pirates for a hoard of booty an a jest and I spent a season learnin’ the life of a cat-o-the-sea.
Havin’ obtained me all the plunder I could carry, I returned to New York in time for the spring, rich in gold and the vocabulary of a true privateer. (And a proper cutlass too, though truth be told it were redundant with me sharp claws.) Ye landlubbers were mighty surprised!
So now I be known as Graybeard and my ship, the Fowl Play, is the Scourge o’ the Seas, makin’ sailors tremble in their boots at the sight o’ me mast with a big hulkin’ tiger eatin’ a plump turkey.
Ahoy! ‘Tis many an incautious feline captain who met the watery grave of Davy Jones’ locker fer understimatin’ the Foul Play, tis it true. Many a red ensign me plunder for the rum, many a seadog know the name o’ Ol’ Graybeard an heard it true me put a shot across they bow!
Them sons o’ biscuit eaters become sharkbait if they underestimate Graybeard, so ye better strike colors an succumb to the inevitable — that Buddy’ll strike anchor, invite hisself aboard ye vessels and help hisself to the prime booty!
Only problem is, not a spot o’ turkey to be had on the high seas, so I have me men squib the deck, get the Fowl Play shipshape and make port often to keep the turkey larders topped up for the galley, ye savvy? Anyone who raid me turkey stash be playin’ with Jack Ketch and be sure to feed the fish, if ye catch me drift!
Avast me, ol’ Graybeard’s adventures on the high seas will continue till I find the legendary pieces of eight or the grog strike me with a clap o’ thunder, I always say.
Fer legend has it that there be an island where turkeys have eight wings, each more delicious than the last, and it be Graybeard’s obsession to find this isle o’ wonders. Just imagine how awesome it would be! Arrrr…belay that! Put it in yer mind that Graybeard’ll be rich in plunder and turkey if the mythical isle be found!
I have me pigeon here who’ll carry me dispatches back to that landlubber Big Buddy, so he can continue the bloggin’ an apprise ye buckos of me adventures. Until such time as the Fowl Play make port, I’d advise ye stay off the shippin’ lanes between the kingdom and the Caribbean.
Yer captain,
Buddy
Pain In The Bud 
How fabulous – This made me smile totally!!! – being from Cornwall (a countuy in England) originally – we are famous as smugglers and pirates so Bella is learning the art of piracy from me – Bertie already has the skills as he can “board” many a house along our road and get food and cuddles at anytime – a true pirate! but not nearly as glamorous as “Captain graybeard Buddy” !
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Hi there! I’m currently rereading Mandy Morton’s hilarious novel ” The Ghost of Christmas Paws”, which is set in Cornwall. It’s the forth installment in her No. 2 Feline Detective Agency series.
Highly recommended, and no, I’m not being reimbursed for this blurb, I’m just a fan.
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🤣🤣My cat would sell me to pirates just for a bag of turkey Churro treats.
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Tis a sad thing that ye brave pirate Captain Buddy be a good candidate for scurvy, for it be known that scurvy is caused by what healers know to be a shortage of vitamin C, found in many a citrus fruit. One thing the feline race be known for is its abhorrence of the pong of oranges, lemons, and limes.
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True that. Maybe Captain Buddy could tolerate a spot of lemon sauce adorning an eight winged turkey …
Or marinate the freakish fowl in citrus juice to tenderize and flavor the meat?
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Cats make their own vitamin C, ye landlubbers! Good Cap’n Buddy allows a squeeze o lemon in the grog for the men.
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Cats make their own vitamin C, so the good captain doesn’t have need of that foul citrus, ye ken? However he’s not opposed to addin’ a bit o lemon to the grog for the men with their inferior immune systems!
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Very handsome. As he got older, Diego became known as Lord Greychin.
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Captain Buddy cuts a fine figure in his uniform! Let’s hope he finds that mystical island of the many-winged turkeys!
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Ahoy, Captain Buddy! Did ye know that every September 19 is Talk Like A Pirate Day, and on that day many feline buccaneers set sail across the furry deeps of the Cat Blogosphere?! I’m sure ye’d be most welcome, with your command of the language and the high seas!
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We always end up forgetting about it and missing it. Maybe this year. Captain Buddy has had plenty of practice talkin’ the tongue o’ the high seas!
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