Dear Buddy: ‘Do Cats Really Hate Us?’

A new article claims that cats don’t love people the way dogs do and may not love people at all! A reader asks Buddy to weigh in.

Dear Buddy,

I have an urgent matter here that requires your sage input and your keen understanding of all things feline and human.

This article from LiveScience, titled “Do Cats Really Hate Us?”, contains several distressing allegations. Among them: that cats mostly tolerate us humans, that we must bribe them with snacks and other gifts to earn their affection, and perhaps most disturbing of all, that cats can never love humans the way dogs do.

When confronted with particularly disturbing information we must turn to our greatest minds to guide us, and you may be the only one, cat or human, who can cut to the heart of the matter and reveal the truth.

Please, Buddy, tell us it ain’t true!

Sad In Saskatchewan

Dear Sad,

Normally I’d chastise you for writing from Canada, as I’ve made it clear many times that my column is for AMERICATS and their servants. Furthermore, everyone knows I despise Canada, that barren, frozen wasteland filled with floppy-headed Canadians!

However you were very gracious in your appeal to me and you employed an appropriate number of superlatives to describe my considerable intellect and wit, so we’ll pretend you’re an American for the purposes of this reply, shall we?

Now to the grave matter before us!

It is true that the bond between feline and human is different than the bond between human and canine, just like a boss-employee relationship differs from friendships with co-workers.

We cats are the bosses, in case the analogy wasn’t clear.

Buddicles the Wise
Buddicles the Wise is a scholar and gentlecat who is often sought out for his sage advice on thorny issues.

Humans, dogs, lizards and other lesser animals occupy one sphere and felines occupy another, higher sphere. You would have learned all this in science class had you paid attention, but you’re Canadian so we can only expect so much.

Now it is true, our affections are limited. A dog will slobber all over his owner for no reason at all whereas humans have to toil to earn a pat on the head from their feline superiors.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t love you! You guys are good at acquiring and dispensing food, you build nice shelters (except for your insistence on those infernal “doors”) and you are loyal.

I can always count on my Big Buddy to put off the call of nature until his bladder is ready to burst when I am using him as my pillow. I also know that Big Buddy will get up to open the door a hundred times when I’m indecisive about whether I want to be on one side or another. Sometimes I pretend to be indecisive just to mess with him LOL!

So you see, cats do love humans, but we require humans to earn our love. We are not the aloof, uncaring, unfeeling little furry masters that some slander us as.

Beware fake news, my friend, especially anything you read about me as I seek to regain my rightful post as president of the Americats. Now go and earn the love of your feline overlord by providing excellent service!

Your friend and resident genius,

Buddy

15 thoughts on “Dear Buddy: ‘Do Cats Really Hate Us?’”

  3. Dear Buddy,

    Canadians ARE Americans, since they live in North America.

    Our neighbors to the north and south complain about our annexing the word “American” to describe citizens of the United States. They point out that they also live in the Americas and they are Americans as a result, as well as we citizens.

    Can we be geographically sophisticated, please?

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    2. To Joy. 👍Not only did some of my cats sleep with me AFTER eating treats or favorite food but my deceased Clementine followed me everywhere and shared my pillow. Maybe because some pos locked her in bathroom at pet store in daytime. Let out at night. The worker there who warned me owner was going to get rid of her because she was too old to kill mice said i was the only person Clem tried to follow me out the door.

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  5. My kitty loves me so much, but you are correct, Little Buddy, my kitty’s love is based on the excellent (if I do say so myself) service I provide and loads and loads of pets and scritches❤

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    1. To Jean. And they are very furrgivin. I accidentally punched my cat in face this am. How did that happen? I had my fist up sitting on my bed to pet him and before i had the chance to open my hand he jumped on bed right into my fist.He went under bed for a second after i said i was sorry. Layed next to me so i can rub him.

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      1. Yep. Same with accidentally stepping on tails. I’m very careful but sometimes it happens and I always make sure I reach out to Bud and give him a head scratch to let him know it wasn’t intentional.

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    1. Part of it’s natural curiosity but I think a lot of people want to be reassured that their pets love them because obviously they can’t speak.

      Separately, I think there’s a general fascination with animal minds. All minds are so called “black boxes” in that we can’t see into them, but obviously humans can explain what they’re thinking and how they’re feeling. We never really know what happens in the mind of a cat, an elephant or a bird.

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    1. Indeed. For all I joke about Bud being an imperious little tyrant who is constantly scheming to get more turkey and catnip, he’s my best Bud and our bond is stronger than I ever imagined it could be.

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