Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, the duke and duchess of Sussex, have gone on a months-long media blitz blaming the UK’s royal family for allegedly being unwelcoming, saying some really mean stuff, and in the case of Prince William, beating poor Harry up.
The self-exiled sort-of royals have appeared in Netflix specials, their own podcasts on Spotify, interviews with major media figures, and most recently released Harry’s ghostwritten autobiography, Spare, in which the prince claims he was “bred” to provide “spare parts” for “Willie” in case the vaunted heir to the British throne needed an extra lung, kidney or todger. (Harry mentions the royal member 15 times in the book, according to reporters who keep track of such important things.)
The prince — who is current fifth-in-line to the throne — has other grievances, mostly against the UK press, Piers Morgan, the Skokie Illinois Barbershop Quartet, and his step-mother, Camilla. So far he hasn’t directed his ire at the Earl of Budderset.
What do cats think about the royal drama?
“Probably my stuffed bumblebee! But I like my bouncy ball and the birdie wand thingie my mom uses when we play too. Oh! Also, those little plastic rings from bottles! So much fun to bat around.” – Maisie, 2, bird-watcher
“I’ve been giving this a lot of thought, and I think we need more treats, a Seventh Snack if you will, to bridge the considerable gap between Sixth Snack and Fourth Meal.” – Custard, 6, food critic
“HEY CHECK IT OUT! HEY! WHEN I PLOP ONTO THE COUCH CUSHION IT LEAVES A ME-SHAPED FOSSIL!” – Fiona, 7 months, kitten paleontologist
“There is one last door that Must Be Opened: The refrigerator door. You know how much I hate closed doors, and that one needs to stay open, okay? What if I want to take a nap with the cold cuts or use a nice block of feta for a pillow?” – Felix, 9, debate coach
“I think humanity is a thin layer of bacteria on a ball of mud hurling through the void, existing to speed the entropic death of this planet. That said, until we felines develop opposable thumbs, you humans are a necessary evil. You may feed me now.” – Mr. Fluffy, 13, retired
“So I told that mountain lion, I says, ‘Look here, puma! I ain’t intimidated by your size or your growl. As long as this heavy glass door stands between us, I’m gonna talk all the trash I want, and you can’t do nuthin’!'” – Doris, 6, abrasive meower
Pain In The Bud 
Bella and Berties are tight-lipped as Agents of the crown; their impartiality must be observed…
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Of course. The official palace response is no response. Smart of them!
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Me and my cat are thrilled they are speaking out. If Jeremy Jackson of The Sun spoke of throwing excrement at my cat? Why does this man still have a job? FAMILY DEFENDS FAMILY.Whether two or 4 legged ones.
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I thought it was obvious he was talking about that scene with Queen Cersei in Game of Thrones, but he failed to note that in the column, so it sounds like he’s literally calling for her to be paraded through the streets and hit with dung.
The whole thing is ridiculous. The editor should have asked him to sleep on the column and come back to it with fresh eyes, and he shouldn’t have apologized, since apologies only fuel the fire these days.
Lacking an editor here, I try to shelve posts that might go too far in terms of satire. If I have a concern, that’s enough for me to know I should come back and read it later instead of publishing it right away.
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I am not a royal watcher, but I can imagine life in the fish bowl of public scrutiny and opinion can’t be entirely pleasant for any of them.
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Do not care about any of the royals but racism is worse in the U.K than here. This was told to me by my clients who moved here.
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Innterstin post Buddy ab Big Buddy….
Wee have mixed feelinss ’bout Prince Harry an Miss Meaghan…
Wait wee furry happy they are twogether an wee wish them only THE best!
Wee understand Prince Harry has feelinss an has probablee gone thru alot beein THE younger Prince.
Wee cuud see him meowin out ’bout what happened when hee married Miss Meaghan.
THE rest wee sorta uncomfy with ’cause they meowed they did NOT wanna bee inn spotlite.
Well with all THE innterviewss an THE new book….where else cuud they bee now?
Sum thingss wee feel shuud not bee meowed ’bout inn Publick Doe-main….
Wee at leest are reeleeved all this happened AFTUR Queen Elizabeth went to Purr Land! 😉
***purrss*** BellaDharma an 🙂 BellaSita Mum
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I love the comments here. Buddy & his admirers are far wiser than those royals on 2’s. I’m much more interested in their issues than two angry people of privilege. Thanks Buddy’s & friends
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That was the point, that cats don’t care at all about them or any human drama, but I may have missed the mark. 🙂
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You didn’t miss the mark. Me & those cat’s could care less. I’m with them & you & King Buddy & his own private monarchy of sorts. Buddy shall remain king & that’s all that matters! Point taken, mark made & now we can move on to yours & Buddy’s next hot topic! 🔥
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I think they are all messing up my news channel with drivel when I need info on how many rodents are coming and when! I wish I could share my picture here but my human hasn’t a clue about computers! I do love her but she isn’t perfect t!
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My name is Spunkmeyer but my human had to send in my comment. She is Sissy Beans.
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While I very much enjoyed hearing from these wise and thoughtful kitties, I must say I am disappointed that Little Buddy’s opinion is missing. This is a serious oversight, which, I hope, will very soon be corrected 😼
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Cat On The Street is basically a satire of the old “man on the street” features in newspapers, so they’re supposed to be random cats, and the running joke is that half the time, the cats don’t actually answer the questions, although this time none of them did because, well, cats don’t care about the royals or their drama lol.
But Buddy gets his say in his point-counterpoint columns and in his absurd advice column, “Dear Buddy,” which we haven’t done in a while. Buddy vehemently disagrees with critics who claim his advice is inane, counterproductive and sometimes dangerous!
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I must apologize. I didn’t realize that Little Buddy spent time with Queen Elizabeth and is now known as Lord Buddy or Count Buddy. I can only hope the Royal Feline is not offended.
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Buddy says: “I am VERY offended, Jean, and this can only be made right with turkey. Lots of it.”
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Forgive me but those of us who grew up differently dealt with a lot and moved forward nonetheless. No cat or human can muster much sympathy for them. Tux is bored with them and is just going back to his nap schedule! If someone wants to pay him to complain, he has no comment!
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It’s quite the lucrative gig they have, $300m for the Netflix and Spotify deals alone, not counting the book deal.
What I don’t get is who buys this stuff, let alone wants more of it? It’s literally nonstop complaining, self-pity and crying into $5,000 Hermes blankets.
Do you think Netflix would offer Tux and Bud a deal for a show complaining about how they’re perpetually shortchanged on yums?
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Tux is in ! Who could resist two exceptionally handsome soon to be celebrities! Tux will only be appearing part time though. He has decided since he will be 10 this year that he is now semi- retired!
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More cats on the street!! My cats even stopped what they were doing, to listen to me read their opinions. Um… maybe I shoulda put “doing” in parentheses (like I just did). Three of them were either starting naps or waking up from naps. The only one actually doing was Lucinda, who was busy cleaning her butt.
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Thanks for the feedback, Barreleh. I don’t always know how well these things are received because only a tiny fraction of readers engage or comment, so it’s good to get feedback. Using natural language processing AI to create the images is also huge for content like this, since it allows for almost anything as long as you can imagine it.
Cats in space? Sure! Cats lounging like kings and queens on absurd royal thrones? Sure! Cats wearing suits, cats wearing sunglasses…
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Spunkmeyer the Great ((he wants that changed permanently… Ha HA!!! SURE EDDIE (Dating myself there… Leave it to Beaver! Great show!) Anyway, S.M. Says he would watch it if they would only show re-runs…
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All cats are kings and queens in their own minds!
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I try to leave comments but it keeps telling me it has already received that comment! What’s a Feline of my stature to do? Signed, Spunkmeyer the Great
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