The physicist Michio Kaku was a guest on a radio show and was answering a question about possible intelligent life visiting Earth when Joe Rogan interrupted him.
“The three pyramids are aligned with Orion’s belt,” Rogan said. “Do your research, man. Look it up.”
Rogan, who was into 9/11 truther conspiracies at the time, went on to explain how the Egyptians couldn’t possibly have built the pyramids on their own, and that aliens helped them align the positions of the giant structures to correspond to important celestial features.
Here was Kaku, one of the brightest minds in human history, co-founder of string field theory, a man whose textbooks are required reading for PhD-level physics students, getting talked over and “educated” by a pothead who rose to fame hosting a game show in which he forced contestants to eat cockroaches.
I thought of that cringey interaction this week after reading about Rogan insisting school districts are accommodating kids who identify as cats by replacing toilets with litter boxes in school bathrooms.
Rogan’s source was rock solid if you’re the type of person who thinks ancient aliens traveled thousands of lights to the Earth of deep antiquity to teach human beings how to stack stones on top of each other: Rogan’s friend’s wife, who works at the school district, insisted the litter box story is true.
Like previous claims of school administrators gone mad in service to alleged furries, Rogan’s claim was intentionally nebulous and unverifiable. He didn’t name the school, the district or the teacher. We have to take his word for it.
If you like that sort of thing, I have good news for you! Rogan’s in great company.
Marjorie Taylor Greene — the congresswoman who once claimed “Jewish space lasers” were responsible for California wildfires, the shining testament to US education standards who warned “the Gazpacho police” will imprison patriotic Americans, the genteel stateswoman who said scientists are creating fake meat in “Peach tree dishes” to “zap” Americans — has also warned of the apparently widespread practice of furry school children shitting in litter boxes.
Not to be outdone, Rep. Lauren Boebert has co-signed the cat conspiracy, telling donors that evil cat-loving people are hell bent on destroying wholesome American values by unleashing cat-identified children on an innocent and unsuspecting public.
Say it enough and it becomes true
The claims have been repeated so many times that they’ve spread to school board meetings and state legislatures across the country, perpetuated by gerontocratic leaders who think The Onion is a real news source. Two current gubernatorial candidates, in Colorado and Minnesota, have also repeated the claim.
“Schools are not disclosing that they are allowing children who identify as snakes, cats, whatever, they’re providing litter boxes for the [student] cats,” a Tennessee state representative said during a hearing in September. “And obviously it’s very disruptive to the learning process. If a child has that much of a self-identity issue they probably need a different environment, and it’s creating a lot of anxiety, a lot of confusion with the children who are boys and girls.”
“But Big Buddy,” you might be thinking, “I thought you said PITB was apolitical and you’re a moderate?”
It is, and I am.
I dislike all ideology equally because it invites people to abdicate their responsibility to think for themselves. I believe our two-party system and the divisiveness it fuels could be the ruin of our great nation, particularly at a time when polls show up to half the US population expects to fight in an ideologically-driven civil war. I worry that we are doing precisely what our enemies want by feuding amongst ourselves. Indeed, we know for a fact that “troll farms” in countries like Russia and China exist to sow the seeds of division and crank up poisonous political rhetoric online.
But I’m also against pure, abject, mind-boggling, depressing, Idiocracy-style stupidity and the idea that anything is true if someone says it is. Neither party has a monopoly on this kind of thing.
In particular, I’m not a fan of injecting cats into the American culture wars. (Although it’s not just cats at this point. A Texas school district was forced to deny rumors that administrators were allowing “furries” to eat out of dog bowls in school cafeterias.)
We already fail these innocent creatures in myriad ways, from allowing declawing and doing little to improve weak animal welfare laws, to tolerating the idea that it’s perfectly acceptable for people to shoot cats with arrows, BBs and real firearms as some grotesque form of entertainment.
Now people want to use cats as the rope in a perverse game of cultural tug-of-war, which could further degrade their status and lead to more proxy violence against them.
Cats are vulnerable, and are already targets of hate
Violent criminals, including the perpetrators of the recent mass shootings in Uvalde and Buffalo, often get their start by killing cats before “graduating” to humans.
Cats are also frequent victims of redirected anger, with studies showing they’re abused and killed in domestic violence situations because they’re viewed as extensions of the feminine, or simply because killing them causes emotional distress to the people who care for them.
Of domestic violence victims who have pets, more than 70 percent of their abusers also took their rage out on the victims’ pets.
Politics have pervaded and infected so many things, cats and dogs are now staked to territory on either side of the political fault lines.
So how long will it be before an Alex Jones type claims the government is using cats to spy on Americans? The best conspiracy theories always have a nugget of truth to them, after all, and in the 1960s the CIA tried — and failed, spectacularly — to use cats implanted with transmitters to spy on Soviet officials.
How long before a Boebert or a Greene tells a crowd that it’s their patriotic duty to shoot “liberal cats” on sight? How long before Tucker Carlson follows up one of his thrilling UFO/crop circle/cow mutilation investigative specials with a breathless exclusive about America-hating cats?
“Why do so many cats want to see America burn? Why do cats like to line their litter boxes with the American flag? Does the government allow cats to vote? Hey, I’m just asking questions!”
If you think that’s outlandish, I’d point out that we’ve been there, done that.
Tucker Swanson Carlson has already claimed that “decadent rich people” who “detest the country” like to plot America’s downfall from cat cafes. Those evil America-haters stroke cats and sip lattes while “working through the night to destroy” our great nation, Carlson told his viewers. I’m not making this up.
Europeans almost extirpated domestic cats in the middle ages when people were convinced they carried the Black Plague, and cats had even bigger targets on their backs after the Inquisition’s most overzealous prosecutors insisted felines were used in Satanic rituals.
Likewise, my Google News alert for cat-related articles shows a depressing, never-ending feed of stories about people chugging beer and shooting cats with BB guns, mystery killers strangling neighborhood kitties and “hunters” who put arrows through these sentient, innocent animals who have the mental and emotional capacity of three-year-old human children.
And there’s already plenty of nonsense online about how our choice of pet reflects our political beliefs, as well as unhinged rants about the kind of people who prefer cats. There are even research studies about the intersection of politics and attitudes toward companion animals, and research shows certain people consider cats “liberal” because they don’t adhere to social hierarchies and don’t recognize authority.
Is it really a stretch to imagine some 85, deep into a case of Miller High Life, taking target practice at neighborhood cats because he sees them as evil, feminine, America-hating animals? Are we sure it doesn’t happen already?
Politics really does ruin everything.
Pain In The Bud 
Personally, I agree with you ( and Buddy, of course). I am well known for my dislike of ALL politicians. I also do not buy any newspapers since 1980 and only really take scant views of the news ( in the UK the BBC is simply the worst, so I have avoided it at all costs since 1986) British politicians are simply vote chasers to get their noses in the trough the same as journalists and the tax-funded BBC who pay themselves very large salaries and benefits whilst talking about the high cost of living… I also agree there are Bad Humans who simply see cats and all animals as targets (hence why I am Vegan) and also seem them as commodities for cash.
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It’s funny beause I look at the BBC broadcast news, the version we get at least, and it seems so much more sober and serious than US TV news, with more of an emphasis on what’s going on in the world rather than the vapid coverage of CNN, Fox, MSNBC et al. American TV news is all about people yelling at each other, stories about things people said on Twitter, celebrities, and political drama with almost no reporting on policy or the political process itself.
You guys do have your characters though. I learned about Jacob Reese Mogg when Sasha Baron Cohen interviewed him as Ali G, and Mogg seems like a caricature of what people think British people are.
I try my best to avoid TV news and read coverage from different publications instead. The Associated Press, Reuters and the Wall Street Journal’s news division (not to be confused with its editorial page) seem to be the closest things we have to neutral news sources these days.
Agreed, re: Tone-setting media types with cushy jobs. In the UK and US they’re primarily people from de facto aristocratic families with the right alma maters and connections.
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What you say about the BBC is very interesting, johnggraham. In the USA the BBC is usually considered to be a good source for reliable, trustworthy news. A local NPR station broadcast a BBC news show some years ago, and I missed it greatly when it was cancelled.
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The BBC hides behind a veneer of “Britishness” and therefore implied trust to maintain its taxpayer-funded largesse. This is the broadcaster that told us Jimmy Saville was a harmless children’s entertainer… I also don’t know of any American broadcaster that has imprisoned anyone for not paying its fee/tax? ( the BBC has done this…)
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I think it was Stephen Fry who said with a cut glass British accent, received pronunciation, you could fool just about any American into thinking you’re brilliant.
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Cats are smarter than these people! And a area in Brooklyn where i work a right winger was trying his very best to kill fixed feral. People told me cat does not even go on his property. 3 BLOCKS AWAY.This was all on camera. Another right winger near my friends got angry when he found out they feed feral.ON THIER PROPERTY IN THIER GARDEN WHERE CAT STAYS.
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It’s really sad, although I’ve seen this behavior from people of all political persuasions. The wildlife biologist who was convicted of poisoning stray cats was most definitely not a Fox News viewer, and the people who torment their cats with long, slow, painful deaths via vegan diets tend to be from the left as well.
I think all human ideologies should be left out of animal related issues. It’s crazy that we apply human morals to cats when it comes to dietary “choices,” just like only the unhinged would think cats are somehow “liberal” or only pets for women.
Of course, I’m trying to walk a fine line here not only as a moderate, but as a blogger who wants all readers to feel comfortable reading and participating in PITB. 🙂
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With all due respect i was talking about comments made by these people. Not ALL make these comments that are wackadoodle. Never heard anyone from the left say schools need litterboxes. And my nephew lives in Colorado. He said this is NOT a joke.
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Thanks for this great article! The stupid is so strong with many people, one wonders if there’s something in the water or air turning them into idiots. 😦
Of course, there are plenty of folks who are simple mean down to the bone. Stupid can be educated but mean is a huge character flaw.
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Thanks for the kind words, Quilpy.
I think it’s also interesting from an urban legend/”telephone” perspective. We tend to think of those things as kid stuff, but here we have adults, people who are supposed to be leaders in our communities and at the state and federal level, repeating stories that really are Onion material and insisting that they’re true. If gubernatorial candidates, congressmen and state lawmakers are incapable of differentiating between obvious hoaxes and real news, we’re in serious trouble.
But ultimately the reason for this story is because the “litterboxes in schools” thing has become a daily talking point at political rallies and in interviews, and I really do think there will be real world consequences for cats — the actual animals, not the kids who supposedly identify as them — if people continue with the stereotyping of felines and the people who love them.
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I am just going to say this & put it ALL out there, this is what I’m thinking. I’m sorry if it’s the unpopular thing or if it’s the politicalically incorrect thing to say but Boebert, Greene, most of Tennessee & Kentucky lawmakers & politicians & whatever religious affliliations they believe in or anyone who’s spewing any cat conspiracy theories be it Joe Rogan or Tucker Carlson, they should have a friggen place given to them for just them.
I mean like Hart Island or one of the many islands now abandoned & that aren’t in use (Probably not Hart Island bcuz these folks would annoy the dead) & they should live there ALWAYS.
They can have their very own TV station, social media network, newspapers or stations & their own Golden Pyramid or wherever they wanna worship. They’ll even have & be their own political party! They’ll be no jews, furrys, or feral cat’s with friggen laser beams & they can rest assured those entities can’t get to them & they can all live there TOGETHER.
They never have to leave, we can just drop supplies there by air or better yet give them the appropriate goodies where they can grow anything they wish to eat so it won’t be tainted by masses of Furry’s who undoubtedly will not wash their hands/paws post litter box use, and have a field day.
Their world, their theories, their gods, their goals, their foods & their great knowledge & ideas. They can have tech, but it only works there, wherever there is.
I have to mention the most important part though; The only catch is, it’s exactly like Hotel California. You can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave.
There won’t be anything visiting with paws but you’ll have whatever is in your water & whatever flies over & insects, lots & lots of insects to munch on. They won’t need for anything & even entertainment like nightly Scott Baio stand up with Ted Nugent Concerts nightly! Woo hoo, what joy they shall have!
These folks love the limelight so since it might be comical, maybe just maybe the rest of us can watch them via satellite, like on pay per view. All the proceeds go to charities like the Humane Society & LGBTQ causes, bettering mental health care & a small fund for Furrys who’ve been harmed by their old rhetoric?
Maybe, idk…but I would be thrilled to allow all these people to have their own place & all their own goodyz & holidays like a good old national hate day or Q Day or a variety of “Gate Days” you know, Pizza or Bridge or whatever. Oh, there’s also the possibility of the, “I recall trying to kill cat’s day” which is a good remembrance day. They’ll make feral piñatas that look like disheveled cat’s & then it’s ON!!!
They can live in mansions & have their own currency,
it’s fine!!! They can even rename the days of the week I don’t give a rats butt but I just think this world would be better & they’d be happy & all would be well.
Then in the end maybe sometime in the distant future if it’s safe, National Geographic can do a piece on it & see what these children of the corn types have made of their place & what their reading materials look like & what if any artifacts have they been able to create? I just want to round them all up & offer them their own Disneyland of sorts & they’d be happy!!!
Whole batches of people, uh…like the rest of us would be happy too. We could feel safe away from them & safe from the hatred & fear they spread & I think it would be very mutual.
I just don’t see the harm in it but I do see the harm in these types of people running around on the loose here & now. The only purpose they serve now is hurting lots of people, places & things. They feel we’re all soooooo threatening, I can’t imagine how they could be unhappy with the offer. I know many people who’d be happy they’d be there as well as many feral cat’s who don’t have a voice but I betcha they’d be all for it!
So that’s my solution, give them all they want, what they want & how they want it. It’s not segregation of any sort if you are going because you want to go & because it’s your friggen Xanadu! It’s a happy day for all & world wide I can imagine people & their pets letting out a huge sigh of relief… So there’s my very very very long thought but now it’s out there.
I could not in my heart of hearts keep it to myself. Sorry it’s longer than your whole PITB piece but I had to let it out & no you don’t need to publish it but I hope you smiled reading it.
Best to both Buddy’s today & everyday ❤️
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Just a heads up, I’m gonna refrain from commenting any further on *political* aspects of this post and from favoriting comments on this post because I don’t want to navigate a political discussion here and I don’t want anyone to be upset if they perceive me agreeing/disagreeing with a particular political view.
I really do want everyone to feel comfortable commenting on and reading Little Buddy’s site, and the Budster himself is a staunch Buddesian, meaning his political allegiance is to himself, fellow cats, and turkey.
I meant for this story to be a focus on how politics poisons everything, and how all our innocent little buddies could suffer if we continue to be so divisive that even our choice of pet becomes a political statement. It looks like I may have missed the mark on that, and that’s my fault for putting too much emphasis on the politicians I mentioned.
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I just meant to name the folks who spoke out. Had it been MLK or Moses I honestly would have felt the same way. I can’t stand stupid & it breaks my heart that people are even mean to small laboratory animals. So you didn’t really miss the mark you just chose the talking heads that are speaking the loudest at the moment. They’ll always be red, blue, purple & green stupid, but I hate it a little extra when it impacts creatures who have zero voice. (I also don’t particularly appreciate it when it comes to kids or the elderly either but even they have some voice some of the time… animals just have us) So again I don’t think you offended any conservative or liberal or any political person, you just highlighted dumb in the spotlight & when they speak up, really ugly things can happen, ijs… and so were you… no harm, no foul. Anyone who reads you, knows very well you do not favor any party publicly or really put politics here ever unless it’s political cat’s who have made our lives better or crazier in some kind of way & so much more of course. Otherwise we’d not be here loving on PITB. No worries, you did well, but I apologize if I didn’t.
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You know, I am probably as conservative as a Constitutionalist can get. I also have six cats. I’d have more if I could. I am involved in antideclaw initiatives, I am not vegan (if obligatory carnivorous is good enough for them, I’m good too). I believe everyone should have the right to love whomever they want to love, I believe in the sanctity of life: human, dog, cat, whale, whatever.
That made clear, some of these people maybe say crazy stuff for shock value, maybe it was misconstrued, maybe they meant every word. We’ve all said some stupid things, I know I have!
I think we all have to remember they don’t speak for all of us, and that this too, shall pass. And nobody will care or remember in ten years. Just live your life, trying to do right by the world.
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