NEW PALTZ, NY — It’s not easy playing the part of a hungry stray to seven different families in a one block radius, but local cat Tangerine says he makes it work by sticking to a strict schedule.
“I’m always at the green house at 7:45 am sharp, ’cause that’s when the kids leave for the school bus. When they see me they call out to their mom, who’s usually got tuna or eggs for me,” the enterprising feline said.
From there it’s on to the three-story Dutch revivalist house on the corner, where a retired gentleman calls Tangerine “Rusty” and offers him a generous bowl of kibble.
“The key is to master the plaintive meow and to look just a bit unsure of yourself,” Tangerine explained, “like you haven’t had a meal in ages and aren’t sure where your next meal is coming from.”
But Tangerine isn’t nearly done after only two houses. The crafty cat has his stops all planned out and knows the routines of every one of his neighbors, a feat of efficiency and logistical planning that would make FedEx envious.
If the weather’s nice, the orange tabby will settle down for a rest in the neighbor’s yard, which has flowers that are particularly enjoyable to defecate on. If it’s chilly or raining, Tangerine heads back home for his morning snooze.
Immediately after First Nap is the highlight of the morning: a visit to the Bacon House where the inhabitant, a 47-year-old software engineer, has bestowed the name Simba on Tangerine and always offers deliciously crispy bacon, the feline said.
Next it’s Second Nap followed by Fourth Meal at the wrap-around porch two houses down, which provides ample shade for subsequent snoozing. The people there call Tangerine “Creamy Delicious” and offer him a wide variety of palate-pleasing treats.
Tangerine prepares for the visit by rolling in the dirt for a minute or two, making himself look scruffy and unkempt.
“You poor thing!” the woman who lives there often says as Tangerine nuzzles against her hand and meows cutely. “You probably haven’t eaten since yesterday!”
The rest of the afternoon through early evening takes the orange tabby between three additional homes where he enjoys diced chicken, crumbled sausage and occasional steak.
By the time he’s finished his rounds, Tangerine is drained and returns home to rest.
“It’s not easy doing that much eating and sleeping,” Tangerine said with a wide yawn. “If it were easy, every cat would be out there like I am with the side hustle.”
As of press time Tangerine said it was too early for a formal announcement, but said he’s been working on “considerations of sleep and logistics” that would allow him to expand to an ambitious route of nine houses and nine meals daily.
Pain In The Bud 
🤣🤣🤣🤣My semi- feral Bootsy goes across the yard from me and woman says your chatooli is huge!! That is Hebrew for cat. She said the kids would like to give Bootsy tuna sometimes. I said sure. But he will not approach anyone so leave it and walk away. Sure enough fatso eats it. And here i thought he was looking for the sun to lay on in the cold. 🤣
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What a smart little boy! May he live long and prosper. 🖖
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“Our” Kiki — our next-door neighbor’s outdoor cat who decided she would like to be our sometimes-indoor cat and adopted us — used to have a full breakfast at our house and then (we later learned) go next door for a second. Come and go for snacks and lunch and naps. Repeat the morning routine for dinner. . . . No fool, that Kiki! And who knows where esle she might have grabbed a snack? (It’s a wonder she wasn’t chonky.) . . . She lived to a very old age despite being an outdoor cat for much of her life. She was a smart gal, too, learning to use a litter box late in life. We like to think we gave her comfort and extra love in her retirement years.
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Smart cat! I think these situations are hilarious and show how creative cats can be when sufficiently motivated.
That’s awesome that you were able to give Kiki a loving home in her later years.
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carry on to finding more lucky humans to bless with your presence and their kindness
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Not enough cat people around here! I might starve! But thankfully my mom and dad keep me in and feed me delicious salmon pate meals whenever I am hungry! Or tuna pate! Or beef pate (which I currently don’t like-gotta be persistent!) Sigh. I DO so LOVE BEING King!
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