Swiffer Added To List Of Buddy’s Mortal Enemies

Ever brave, the unshakeable feline survived an encounter with a dangerous Swiffer.

NEW YORK — Buddy the Cat poked his head around the side of the couch, cautiously investigating a pressured liquid sound he’d never heard before.

“And that’s when I saw it,” Buddy recalled. “This monstrous purple creature thing, and it was spitting liquid and making the floor all wet, smelly and disgusting. It was terrifying!”

Recoiling from the strong scent of citrus, that vile fruit, Buddy beat a hasty retreat, stopping every few feet to hiss at the floor-defiling automaton. The brave feline jumped and climbed to the safety of a high perch, where he was able to meow insistently at his inconsiderate human.

Brave Buddy
“Now’s an excellent time for a nap.”

When the Swiffing was complete, Big Buddy coaxed his furry friend down with the offer of a snack.

“Who’s a good, brave boy?” Big Buddy asked, shaking the bag.

“Well, I suppose I am pretty brave,” Buddy acknowledged.

After he finished his well-deserved snack, Buddy ran screaming into the bedroom and dived under the bed when he heard the rustle of a large paper bag.

16 thoughts on “Swiffer Added To List Of Buddy’s Mortal Enemies”

  1. hee hee, brilliant. Buddy is of course very brave to face off against such a demonic weapon unarmed and without receiving the necessary intel on it. Bella has no fear of any household item apart from hoovers within a few feet of her position of napping and will generally saunter off casually appearing unfazed until she can run like mad to another room when the casual look no longer works!

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    1. Can I send Bud to her for toughening up? We won’t call it that, of course, because we can’t bruise his ego, but he could benefit from a no-nonsense cat educating him on how not to run screaming from common household noises and appliances.

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    1. That’s true but he also could have given the Evil Swiffer a heart attack, that’s how huge and intimidating his meowscles are. They are weapons of only last resort…or first resort when dealing with cat sitters.

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    1. The cloth things are always coming off them, although the new ones are better and they have a tank of floor cleaner that you attach directly to the Swiffer and activate with a button, so it’s not so bad.

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      1. The problem I have with them is consumerism. They are deliberately made so that you have to keep buying one necessary part. Brita water bottles are the same.

        In fact, I now call this tactic “the Swiffer effect” and I try to avoid buying anything that is built on this principle.

        I buy the old-fashioned cotton string mop that you put in a bucket and wring out by hand. They last a lifetime if you take care of them. So call me a Luddite.

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  2. 🤣🤣🤣Cats hate citrus. That is why we tell cat owners and fosters to put orange and lime peels on dirt of plants if they try playing with dirt. One woman made an art project out of it and cut citrus peels into various shapes. Looks really cool.

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  3. Little Buddy, thank you for another huge laugh at your latest antics. I feel a little guilty laughing about this because I know your fears of dastardly household appliances are very real. My kitty feels the same. Plus I know that you, like most kitties, love peace and quiet. Can’t say I blame you. I hope the rest of the weekend is calm and quiet. And that you get more delicious treats, because you richly deserve them.❣

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    1. More snacks for enduring the injustice of the Swiffer and Vacuum, that evil machine.

      I’ve gone back to the old method: He has to high-five me for his treats, or I put them in an egg-like feeder that he has to bat around to knock ’em loose.

      That stops him from inhaling them in a millisecond, then looking at me like “Snacks? What snacks? I didn’t see any snacks. So are you gonna feed me or what, dude?”

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      1. He is the Most Attractive feline in his neighborhood! And I bet the girls all know it!
        Poor Spunkmeyer!!! He has had to contend with a local bear! WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF GIG HARBOR FOR.GOODNESS SAKE!!! Gig Harbor is a city in Washington by the water!! We hadn’t a clue we had a bear until one showed up and you know… Destroyed two bird feeders! Well, one went missing so who knows here it is…My husband looked at the “Poop” and yes it had berries in it! We will find out where he is soon! (Hopefully not here…) Gotta be careful.with these guys and not anger them or interact with them is our idea!!!

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  4. Bud’s right, the Swiffer is a dangerous beast. Leaving behind noxious fluids like a gigantic slug with a handle, the monster defiles the cat’s territory. After some experimentation my Swiffer now occupies the broom closet.

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