SHELBINA, Missouri — Standing in the shade of his command tent on the side of a rural highway, Buddy the Cat holds a pair of binoculars up to his face with both paws early Thursday morning, scanning for cat food.
“I don’t see a damn thing,” the silver tabby cat says, squinting.
A four-year-old striped ginger cat, an assistant, clears his throat. “You have to take off the lens caps, sir.”
Buddy turns, glares at his assistant, then makes a show of removing the lens caps as if that had been his idea all along.
“Aha!” he says triumphantly. “I see the cans!”
That was the scene at what the mercurial feline is calling Operation Yums HQ, less than a half mile from the site of an overturned tractor trailer on Missouri’s Highway 36. The truck, which had been headed east, drifted onto the right shoulder of the highway and tipped over into a ditch, spilling its glorious, delicious, must-be-acquired cargo onto the surrounding grass and concrete.
“Look at it,” Buddy said, surveying the scene as firefighters, police and paramedics saw to the driver, closed down one lane and directed traffic around the accident. “Soon, it will be all mine. Er, I mean ours. Muahaha!”
The driver wasn’t hurt in the crash, the Shelbina Fire Protection District said. Shelbina is about 70 miles east of Kansas City.
Authorities weren’t initially sure what caused the tractor trailer to tip over, but said rain and a slick road could have been factors. They’re still investigating.
In the meantime, the human emergency services personnel were oblivious to the cats huddling just out of view, licking their lips and preparing to raid the site under the cover of darkness.
“Stupid humans, they don’t even know they’re sitting on a gold mine!” said Buddy’s second-in-command, Smushface McCutiePants. “Take heart, dear companions, for tonight we dine on Fancy Feast!”
Pain In The Bud 
This is the kind of story personally designed for Buddy! Tux is impressed at how Buddy is capitalizing on this windfall!
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Like a moth to a flame, a Buddy to a meal.
All jokes aside, I hope they donate the spilled cans to shelters or something.
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That would be the best outcome!
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Frank’s reaction:
“‘The driver wasn’t hurt in the crash,’ huh? I hope he (and all those paramedics who were just hanging around) got busy with the can openers! Obviously no one was paying attention, or they would have spilled easy-to-open bags of treats!”
When I suggested that if someone had been paying attention, they probably wouldn’t have crashed in the first place, he just shrugged and replied, “like I said, obviously.”
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Silly you, questioning Frank’s wisdom and his accurate assessment of the situation. Bud says Frank can pick up his 40 cases from the crash whenever he gets a chance.
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Frank’s reply:
“Buddy, thanks for your generosity! I’m your greatest fan!
Now, can someone tell me where Missouri is?”
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Mew mew mew Buddy due you know mee BellaSita Mum ACKSHULLY checked to see if yore story iss reel….
Of coarse, mee meowed!
Shee iss cha-grinned to meow THE leest!!!
Mee an dou-tinn BellaSita hope Operation YUM was a sucksess!
***nose rubss*** BellaDharma an ***giggells*** BellaSita Mum
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Haha yeah, the spill most definitely happened. No doubt the truck was headed for grocery stores where some poor cat servants are gonna find bare shelves while cat food is still scarce. I’m glad I’ve been ordering Bud’s food on Chewy and don’t have to worry about what the grocery stores stock anymore.
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Yore lucky you have Chewy fore sure Big Buddy 😉
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That is a beautiful portrait of Buddy.
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Thanks! I like that one too. He’s got a classic Buddy look on his face.
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That’s also his favorite kneading blanket in the frame. Still got it, as threadbare as it is at this point. He loves it.
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