Dear Buddy: Why Do Cats Follow Their Humans Around?

Dear Buddy,

Why do cats always follow their humans around? I mean, you guys might not want us to pet you all the time, but you sure do go everywhere we go.

Human in Honolulu


Dear Human,

This is a common misconception, one of those myths about cats like the one that says we love milk or we like it when you talk to us in baby voices.

The sad reality is that you follow us around but you don’t want to admit it, so you come up with elaborate fictions about our habits. My human believes I weave around his legs to rub against them after he wakes up, which is absurd. Clearly he steps in my path and I have to swerve, causing incidental contact. I would prefer not to, but he makes it impossible.

Or how about the myth that we like to bother you guys in the bathroom? Big Buddy knows that every day at certain times I like to put my paws under the bathroom door and cry. I mean, I do it all the time and he knows it, so he decides to use the bathroom at those times and tricks himself into believing that somehow I go into hysterics if I’m not actually inside the bathroom with him.

Do you see how delusional you people are?

What kind of crazy people say “I know my cat is going to knead and purr in this spot in the next 5 to 10 minutes, so I’m going to sit here and force him to knead on me”?

I think you guys need to get help.

Buddy

2 thoughts on “Dear Buddy: Why Do Cats Follow Their Humans Around?”

  1. Bella totally agrees with Buddy and points out that this is her house and any following should be done by us Humans to ensure her needs are fully catered for at all times, we also cannot shut any door on the off chance that she may wish to inspect the room for cleanliness and any new napping spots that she has missed. Paws under the door are a simple reminder that claws will be used if the door is shut again…

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    1. This makes perfect sense, of course. The servants follow their feline masters to better meet their whims and needs, whether they involve emergency snacks or stress relieving head scratches.

      Like

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