Cat Defends His Territory From An Elephant In Thailand

A domestic cat bravely stares down an elephant near a home in Thailand.

So this story about a cat fearlessly staring down an elephant in Thailand has gone viral, and the photo is admittedly pretty incredible. Bud would’ve soiled himself and bolted, but this cat is truly brave.

“This is my territorah!” we imagine the cat declaring. “Find your own trees!”

The cat’s name is Simba, he’s three years old, and the photos were taken on the night of Nov. 17 in Thailand’s Nakhon Nayok province, about 112 km (70 miles in the Proper American Method of Measuring Distance™) northeast of Bangkok.

Beyond that, though, it’s actually a sad story: You know things are truly dire when we’ve destroyed so much wildlife habitat that elephants are coming up to people’s houses and eating the trees and shrubs in their gardens. Elephants usually do everything they can to avoid humans, and for good reason: Conflicts almost always end poorly for the elephants.

We hope this photo draws the attention of the right people, who can perhaps mitigate the situation or put resources into moving the elephants to a more suitable range.

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P.S. Buddy disputes any and all allegations that he would have soiled himself or run away from elephants. In fact, the elephants are lucky they don’t share a continent with Buddy!

Real Life Cats Are The Villains of Nintendo’s Newest Game

Gamers want to race. Cats have other ideas.

Nintendo’s newest game has been out for all of one day and already cats are like “Nuh-uh.”

The idea behind Mario Kart Live: Home Circuit is clever yet simple and seemingly tailored for the pandemic era: Using a Nintendo Switch, players control a tiny Mario Kart equipped with a camera and race it around courses they design in their homes. Because players are controlling the kart through a screen and seeing things from the kart’s point of view, the game augments the race course by generating obstacles to dodge, coins to collect and opponents to race against.

It’s called augmented reality, because it adds layers of computer-generated imagery over things we can see with our own eyes. It’s the same concept behind smart glasses and floating heads-up displays.

But there’s one wild card Nintendo’s designers may not have anticipated: Felis catus.

Nothing grabs a cat’s attention quicker than a small, fast-moving object, and the little karts have been triggering the predatory instincts of countless cats.

Some cats go all “You shall not pass!” Gandalf-style on the karts:

https://twitter.com/yamanoneko_23/status/1316999872961081344

Others aren’t sugar coating what they think of the invasive little cartoon racers:


Finally, some cats just don’t know what to make of it:

The best part about this is that, from the kart’s eye view, house cats look like furry kaiju — giant, lumbering beasts hell bent on sending the racers careening off course.

It also begs the question: Is there anything in existence that cannot be improved by adding cats?

Little Buddy Was Kung Fu Fighting!

Cats and kung fu are a match made in heaven with these hilarious photos.

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Little Buddy was kung fu fighting! That cat was fast as lightning!

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In fact it was a little bit frightening, hell yeah
But he fought with expert timing!

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There were funky kung fu kitties from funky Chinatown
They were chopping them up and they were chopping them down
It’s an ancient feline art and everybody knew their part
From a feint into a slip, and kicking from the hip

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Every Buddy was kung fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning!
In fact it was a little bit frightening, hell yeah
But they fought with expert timing!

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There was funky Buddy Cat and funky Mr. Tom
He said: “Here come the tigers, let’s get it on”
We took a bow and made a stand, started swinging with the hand
The sudden motion made me skip now we’re into a brand new trip

Kung Fu Cat Photographer

Every Buddy was kung fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning!
In fact it was a little bit frightening, hell yeah
But they fought with expert timing!

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1CDBB41B-2048-4956-9C97-32A89A859E7DPhotos credit Hisakata Hiroyuki, Pictures of Cats, Wikimedia Commons

Modern Box: The Magazine For Discerning Felines

Buddy the Cat, publisher and editor-in-chief of the all-new Modern Box Magazine, seeks cats of considerable taste for the ultimate feline lifestyle magazine.

modernboxmagazine

Buddy the Cat, publisher and editor-in-chief of the all-new Modern Box Magazine, seeks cats of considerable taste for the ultimate feline lifestyle publication. The editorial department seeks cats for the following positions: Investigative Eater, Box Reviewer, Keyboard Warmer, Leisure Editor. Must have at least three years’ experience sleeping, eating and lounging in a human home.

Does Your Cat Like To Teleport?

Cats are swift and sneaky.

I was working on a writing project late one night when I got up from my desk, intending to head to the kitchen for a beverage when I almost stumbled over Buddy, who was lounging care free and belly-up in my bedroom doorway.

“Not a good place to lounge, Bud,” I said, stepping over him as he stretched and yawned.

I took another step, looked up…and saw Bud sitting on the dinner table about 12 feet ahead of me, fixing me with his quizzical Buddy Stare. WTF? I thought.

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I did a double-take, looking down at the doorway where the little dude had been laying just a second ago, then turned back toward the table. Buddy regarded me, head cocked slightly to one side as his tail gently thumped the table.

For a long second I entertained the possibility that there were two cats, that somehow a gray tabby who looked a lot like Bud had gotten inside, and for some unfathomable reason Buddy was perfectly nonchalant about it.

“No teleporting in the house!” I told him. “It’s rude!”

“Mrrreppp,” Bud replied, hopping down from the table and stepping toward the kitchen.

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The story comes to mind because we had another teleporting incident last night, with little man lounging on my bed, then appearing on my desk chair half a second later.

It’s easy to forget how quick and silent cats can be when it suits them, especially since the majority of their time is spent sleeping, eating and lounging. Their little legs can accelerate them to 30 miles per hour, which leaves average humans in the dust and even surpasses the fastest human runners.

Not bad for a species known for its unmatched laziness.

Please share feline teleportation stories if you’ve got ’em. We must further investigate this additional facet of feline weirdness!