Humans are in “deep doo doo” after a study out of Denmark concluded people are more attached to their dogs than to felines, Buddy the Cat warned on Monday.
More than 2,000 dog owners and cat servants were surveyed by a team from the University of Copenhagen.
The researchers used the Lexington Attachment to Pets Scale, or LAPS, which asks yes or no questions like “I consider my pet my best friend” and more specific questions like how much respondents are willing to pay in veterinary costs to save the lives of their pets. The participants — who hailed from the UK, Denmark and Austria — were about evenly split between dog and cat people but were willing to do more for their dogs, the survey found.
While people in the UK were slightly biased toward dogs, Austrians had a more pronounced preference and Danes were much more likely to do things like insure their dogs, consider them family members and pay large veterinary bills. The differences in attitude by country indicate the factors are cultural, according to Peter Sandøe, a bioethicist at the University of Copenhagen and lead author of the paper.
In a statement the Mischievous Enigmatic Overlords of the World (MEOW) called the survey results “deeply troubling” and said they call into question “10,000 years of glorious history in which we have allowed humans to serve us.”
“It’s going to take a lot [for humans] to get back into our collective good graces after this pathetic showing,” Buddy told reporters during an afternoon press conference.
Asked for specifics, Buddy sighed and leaned forward on the podium.
“The usual extra treats aren’t going to cut it this time,” he warned. “We’re talking Roombas, and not cheap ones. Top end models! We’re talking permission to scratch everything with impunity. Filet mignon! Fresh trout! Little cocktail umbrellas in our bowls and toothpicks in our pate! I’m partial to those little plastic swords, myself. I love those things.”
The mercurial tabby said he’d already warned his own human: “Not a snuggle, not a purr, not a scritch until I start to see some evidence that he’s not among those cold-hearted British, Denmarkians and Australians who claim they love their dogs more.”
Told the study included Austrians, not Australians, Buddy waved a paw dismissively.
“Whatever,” he said. “The country where people say g’day mate and gave us Arnold Schwarzenegger. Same difference.”
Told that Austria and Australia are on two entirely different continents, Buddy fixed the reporter with a hard stare.
“Do you want to be on our shit list too? Because I can assure you, Miss Journalist, I can poop in a pair of high heels just as easily as a pair of Adidas.”
Reached for comment on Monday, Man’s Best Friend spokesman Buster the Beagle said he hopes the survey results mean humans approve of canines.
“We’re good boys, right?” he asked. “Is that what this means? Because we really want to be good boys!”
Pain In The Bud 
Haha, so funny! Well said Buddy! Roombas for all 🙂
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I just saw a video with vat on Roomba while dog looks on. Too funny!!
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Says it all!!!
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The Budster considers himself a feline of priorities and distinguished tastes.
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Are you implying he isn’t?! That’s no way to get a good score on your cat servant evaluation!
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Tux agrees with Buddy! The treats have become sub par lately! He would complain and rebel vigorously but…naps.
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As the 7th Feline Revelation states: “Naps are our sacred responsibility. All other considerations are secondary, with the exception of yums.”
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I don’ t put any stock in studies.And it is a dumb one at that. And people who have a dog and a cat care equally about both. At least the people i know. And if you do care more about your dog than your cat then maybe you should not have a cat.
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Yup!
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Well it depends on the study, how it’s conducted and whether the research team is operating in good faith.
Obviously I’ve been a major critic of the sloppy studies designed to blame cats for declining bird populations, but that’s because those studies are meta-analyses by wildlife biologists who are unapologetic birders and have written books blaming cats for virtually every conservation problem facing smaller fauna. They’re not doing original research and they’re not interested in furthering knowledge. They’re activists.
On the other hand I have an enormous amount of respect for the people who did the incredible DC Cat Count, which was hard work and answered important questions.
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hee hee, brilliant! – Bella pointed out that whilst Dogs may be adorable they are pretty much incompetent when it comes to the core feline skill of “complete indifference” and this is just one of the many essential skills that Dogs have not mastered even after thousands of years in the company of Humans.
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Like the comedian Zoltan Kaszas says of dogs: “I don’t want that kind of energy in my house. A cat is like an apathetic roommate who wants to hang out sometimes. They’re like ‘Hey, what are you up to? Oh never mind, I just realized I don’t care. I’ve got a pile of clean laundry to lay on.'”
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Low energy roommates for all! The world would be a better place if people were more laid back.
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Also, a lot of people care so much about thier dog that they put them on drugs like Prozac and use Gabapentin to keep them calm. THEY DO NOT LET THEM BE DOGS. Read an article yesterday and was disgusted. Lazy people who do not want to use an animal behaviorist as to why dog is acting out.
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Or they get breeds based on looks and don’t realize they’re high energy dogs from working stock that need lots of attention and stimulation. They don’t read about the breed ahead of time, then they’re surprised when the husky they leave home all day gets depressed and bored and starts destroying stuff out of pure boredom.
Of course the same thing happens with cats, but cats mostly endure it or their frustration shows in other ways that people don’t connect to boredom/lack of attention.
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A piece of propaganda if I ever saw one!
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Ramses: “Dogs drool, cats RULE!”
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I love my cat so much that if he needed so much veterinarian care it probably means he is in a lot of pain and I would just let him go instead of making him suffer so “I don’t lose him!”
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Ahahaha good response, Buddy! They apparently did not include British cat bloggers in the survey!
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Jokes aside, the cultural aspect is interesting. Countries like Japan would certainly break the mold. I’ll never forget wandering a massive mall in Odaiba, Tokyo, and stumbling on a pet accessories shop that sold thousand-dollar strollers for cats, gold-plated collar tags and other extravagant items. It was the kind of sticker shock that had me repeatedly checking my math on yen to USD.
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If I may be so bold and apologize on behalf of my fellow lesser creatures … we humans don’t know a good thing until it takes a ride on our roomba. Forgive the dog lovers, Buddy, the slavish devotion of the canines won them over. You know how weak they are.
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Bud says he’ll be watching closely for the results of the same questionnaire on American cat servants, and he magnanimously forgives the British because we are both Anglophiles and John Graham is a pretty cool dude and honorable cat servant.
But the Denmarkians (Danes) and Australians (Austrians) remain on his poop list. The Mischievous Enigmatic Overlords of the World will decide how the canines will be dealt with, although MEOWS’ default position is that they are beneath feline notice.
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Very interesting. I would give Buddy and my kitties anything they want to keep them purring
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I don’t feel too bad because Buddy may not have his much coveted Roomba, but he gets a ton of attention and love, he’s got lots of toys, a nice cat tunnel, a huge tower scratcher, and he’s always getting new boxes to play with.
On top of that he’s pretty much the king around here and gets to do whatever he wants.
Oh, and he has his own website! That’s gotta count for something even though he doesn’t know what it is. I tell him about it sometimes when he climbs up and sits in my lap, and he purrs when I tell him he’s got fans, so that’s something!
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Hi
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Well, Spunkmeyer likes Little Buddy and that is all that is necessary!
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Thanks! I replied to your email by the way. Unfortunately it seems there’s not a way to post photos in comments.
If you want to send photos of the Spunkmeister, higher resolution is always better. It’s been a while since we’ve featured reader cats so that would be a fun post to do.
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Buddy looks really pissed on his tropical vacation.
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Service wasn’t good enough! Plus they didn’t put an umbrella in his drink. Major no-no.
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I’m sure the results of this survey were distorted by the fact that those of us who love cats are less likely to take part in silly surveys. Besides, we’re too busy serving our cats’ many needs.
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It was a survey of pet “owners” but the authors were pretty up front about the fact that cultural attitudes played a big part.
One thing I found interesting is how they pointed out attitudes toward cats were influenced by whether the cats were indoor or outdoor, and in the latter cases attitudes also depended on whether the cat spent more time indoors or out.
That makes a certain sense. If a cat is an indoor love bug, there could be a stronger bond than if the cat is gone for days at a time and drops in to eat and nap before heading back out again.
In the three countries surveyed it’s much more common to let cats out. If they did the same survey in the US and Japan, where most people keep their cars inside, there would almost certainly be a much more pronounced shift toward a stronger bond with cats.
Personally the choice has been made for me. Bud was born indoors to an indoor mom, he’s used to inside life and he doesn’t like the uncertainty, danger and overstimulation of the outdoors — unless he’s with me and it’s quiet, like on summer nights which is when I’ve taken him out. Even if that were not the case, it’s really not possible to have an outdoor cat in this neighborhood and area in general.
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The coyotes think we should have outdoor cats again! They ate one of the neighbor’s cats. They aren’t getting our cat!!! He has a safe condo and a place to live inside with us! Some people like to feed outdoor wildlife! NOT US!
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RIGHT ON SHEILA!!!
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