Poll: 1 In 3 Cats Refuse Vaxx Jab Over ‘Big Vet’ Fears

WASHINGTON — Citing concerns about “Big Vet” and the industry’s role in the global pandemic, one in three American cats say they won’t get vaccinated, a new Mew Poll found.

Many of the cats who participated told pollsters they’re suspicious of the vaccines, while others latched onto conspiracy theories or insisted “natural” remedies would yield better results.

One veterinarian’s Facebook post went viral after detractors insisted there was nefarious intent behind it.

“Come on in and get your kittens vaccined, neutered and microchipped,” the post read. “Plenty of appointments available!”

“I knew it,” one feline user responded. “Gill Bates wants to jab us, chip us and sterilize us! They’re not even trying to hide it anymore!”‘

Bates, the billionaire founder of MicroClaw, has been the subject of many conspiracies involving the virus and vaccine. Most allege Bates wants to sterilize all non-breed cats and claim all the world’s futons for himself.

Other versions of the conspiracy claim Bates owns all the world’s cat food manufacturers through subsidiaries and shell companies, and caused the pandemic by placing inert virus particles in kibble.

In a popular Youtube video with more than 7 million views, a feline narrator asks: “Have you noticed dogs aren’t getting sick, but we are? The Mayan calendar predicted this plague, and a famous Nostradamus quatrain warns of ‘a new self-proclaimed king who wears glasses, steals operating systems and rules Friskies and 9Lives with an iron paw.'”

Cat Vaccines
Gill Bates has been pushing cats to get themselves vaccinated.

Other conspiracists alleged Dr. Anthony Meowci, the nation’s foremost infectious disease expert, has been working with the Siamese to install 7G chips in cats who agree to be vaccinated, in an effort to track the population and send subliminal messages directly to victims’ brains.

“Then before you know it you’ll be carrying a copy of Chairman Meow’s Little Red Book everywhere you go,” one prominent anti-vaccination catfluencer wrote on TasteBook. “Ask yourself: What’s Meowci getting out of this? A new cat condo and a lifetime’s supply of ‘nip? A fleet of brand new Roombas?”

Some opportunistic cats have exploited the vaccine skepticism, sensing a business opportunity. Among them is Blinkety Blink, prosperity preacher Joel Osteen’s cat, who is selling “Miracle Catnip Infused Healing Water” online for $89.95 a bottle.

The product can “cure COVID, UTIs, anxiety and even make your coat look smoother,” Blinkety Blink claims in a slick advertisement before jumping into the arms of his beloved human, who praises him for being a shrewd businessman.

“Big Vet doesn’t want you to know about this simple, cheap and effective cure,” Blinkety Blink said. “They want to pump more chemicals into your body, which will make you poop more, which means they sell more litter. It’s all connected!”

Osteen and Blinkety Blink
Osteen pictured with his cat Blinkety Blink, his private jet and his second mansion in Florida.

6 thoughts on “Poll: 1 In 3 Cats Refuse Vaxx Jab Over ‘Big Vet’ Fears”

    1. From what I’ve read, the COVID vaccine probably isn’t going to be a big moneymaker for drug companies. Depending on what happens with virus variants, vaccination will be a one-time thing, possibly with booster shots as we learn more about the variants. By contrast, the flu vaccine is annual and provides the opportunity for major profits.

      Also, the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines have built-in costs besides the enormous amount of money spent developing them, because both have to be stored at specific temperatures in custom units. The companies do not want public opinion turning against them, and the costs of storing and transporting the vaccines is already higher than normal due to the temperature issue, so that leaves them little room to profit anyway.

      Two of the three available so far (Pfizer and Johnson & Johnson) were mostly funded privately, while the Moderna vaccine was mostly funded by the government. I think everyone would agree that the companies should at least make back their investment, otherwise they’re essentially penalized for creating vaccines. (And in the case of Moderna at least, the company dropped or paused its other projects to go full steam ahead on the COVID vaccine.)

      I’m certainly no expert on this stuff, but I think we’re incredibly lucky that technology has advanced to the point where we had vaccines in 10 months (!). It took two decades just for scientists to fully understand what they were dealing with the last time there was a pandemic of this magnitude with the Spanish Flu, which killed between 50 and 100 million people.

      And the other thing to be grateful for, IMO, is that we have our own vaccines and we live in a country where all the trial data is public and we have regulatory bodies making sure the vaccines are safe. People in lots of other countries are electing not to wait for our vaccines and are buying Chinese vaccines instead, but the Chinese refuse to reveal details about the vaccines, have not provided data on trials, and won’t even answer questions about efficacy. Given China’s horrific track record with everything from human rights, to selling test kits that don’t work and masks that are defective, to being chronically dishonest about the virus’ origins, I am counting my blessings that I will get the Moderna or Pfizer vaccine.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Very clever !
    Had my Astra Zeneca yesterday and have side effects today, terrible headache and fever.
    So am wrapped up with hot water bottle!
    Still I am very lucky to have had the jab, and the side effects, which about 1 in10 people have, will be gone tomorrow.
    Jez looking at me sideways, (super happy so she can snuggle up) but totally agrees no vaccins for her!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Do you leave the carriers open and maybe toss some treats in ’em every once in a while? I have been very lucky that Bud doesn’t mind his carrier, and I think it’s because he’s had a lot of positive experiences with it.


      1. I had that idea, because one of my cats should see a vet, but what I decided to use this dried sardines treat I found at Pet Valu- thinking ‘How could she resist?? – but everyone likes it but her. Back to the drawing board.

        Liked by 1 person

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