Buddy The Cat Dismounts Couch In Laziest Way Imaginable, Sources Say

Witnesses praised the slothful feline’s dedication to the path of least resistance.

NEW YORK — In a sluggish ballet involving gravity, the malleability of couch cushions and an ironclad commitment to expending minimal effort, Buddy the Cat unburdened the couch of his weight on Saturday.

Sources said the feline signaled his intent to leave the couch with a subtle shift of his weight, applying just enough pressure to angle the cushion downward and allow gravity to assert its tug on his portly frame.

What followed was a 15-minute process sources described as “like watching the last glob of ketchup slide out of a glass bottle.” Yawning with the non-effort, Buddy allowed gravity to shift his bulk millimeter by millimeter until part of his pudgy primordial pouch and one chonky leg dangled over the edge of the cushion.

Buddy pictured shortly before committing to his gravity-assisted dismount.

Within another five minutes the remarkably lazy tabby cat had crossed a gravitational Rubicon and the edge of the cushion gave way, allowing him to drip languidly off the side of the couch and onto the floor.

Shifting his weight just enough to begin the slow process of sliding off the cushion.

Buddy sat up, licked his left paw, then roused himself with a trill and sauntered over to his dining nook to lap up some water.

“It’s a bit like watching paint dry, but I applaud his unwavering commitment to laziness,” said a witness. “This is obviously a cat for whom even the thought of burning a single calorie is deeply offensive.”

Buddy was last seen screeching at his human to fetch him a snack to replenish his “electrolytes and stuff” after his arduous walk to his bowls in the adjacent room.

Buddy using his human’s leg as a pillow.

22 thoughts on “Buddy The Cat Dismounts Couch In Laziest Way Imaginable, Sources Say”

  4. Little Buddy is NOT lazy! Perish the thought. He’s just practicing “movement efficiency”.

    LB should be loudly applauded for his ground-breaking efforts in this field. Thank you, Little Buddy 😘 💖

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