LONDON — Looking for a change after tiring of outgoing Prime Minister Rishi Sunak and his Conservative party, British voters on Thursday selected a new human to serve Larry the Cat, the nation’s de facto leader.
Incoming Prime Minister Keir Starmer was expected to meet with his feline master on Saturday, a day after a scheduled audience with King Charles.
“Lord Larry will lay out his expectations, go over the house rules at No. 10, and warn the new prime minister that national emergencies are not an excuse to be tardy with meals,” said Alastair Lamb, a political columnist for The Guardian. “This isn’t Larry’s first rodeo, as the Yanks might say. He is succinct in communicating what’s expected of a new prime minister.”
Indeed, Starmer is the sixth prime minister to serve under Larry, who arrived at No. 10 to great fanfare in 2011 during the premiership of David Cameron.
Although Larry was initially brought on to combat a stubborn rodent infestation in the 400-year-old structure, he began to take on more duties related to the day-to-day running of the country when it became clear he was more competent — and much more popular — than the men and women officially running the country.
An Ipsos poll released on July 4 reaffirmed the feline’s supremacy: Larry’s favorability ratings are more than double Sunak’s, and he holds an 11 percent favorability lead over Starmer.
Larry has outlasted Cameron, Theresa May, Boris Johnson, Liz Truss and Sunak.
Sunak’s fate was sealed when staff at No. 10 leaked news that the prime minister had gotten on Larry’s bad side for ignoring the feline’s repeated demands for scritches while Sunak was on the phone with US President Joe Biden.
“Sunak made the mistake of believing the real power was in Washington, D.C., when it was in fact the 13-pounds of glorious fur sitting on his desk,” said Sir Felix Finch, editor of the Trafalgar Review of Books. “If he’s smart, Starmer will ingratiate himself with Lord Larry and ensure he remains on the cat’s good side by providing treats and a lap to nap on.”
Larry has directly or indirectly impacted the fates of most of No. 10’s previous occupants. When Johnson was ensnared in a scandal of his own making in 2020 — after he was caught hosting parties while the entire country was quarantining in lockdown — it appeared the 60-year-old former Etonian was on his way out. But in a show of confidence, Larry climbed on Johnson’s shoulder and sat there as the beleaguered politician apologized to British citizens in a televised address.
“His Lordship was sending a strong message: ‘This Boris guy isn’t bad, his treat game is strong and he lets me sleep on his head at night,” Finch said. “The public really responded, concluding that if Johnson still retained Larry’s favor, he must be an allright bloke.”
Starmer and his wife, Victoria, are said to be new to the world of cat servitude and will need to hit the ground running in order to avoid disappointing Larry. A team of aides will bring the couple up to speed on the basics before dining with Larry and his lady friend, Maisie.
“The First Larresian Supper, as it’s been dubbed by the British press, is seen as a key indicator of a new prime minister’s aptitude for the job,” said Spyglass magazine’s Luisa Rey. “One of the reasons [Liz] Truss’s premiership was so short was her inability to make a meaningful connection with Larry.”
When word reached the press that Larry and Maisie were displeased with their pate and after dinner digestif, it was seen as only a matter of time before Truss was gone. Not only did she last a mere 50 days, the shortest tenure of any prime minister in history, she was also ousted from her seat in parliament in the same elections that saw Starmer win the top job.
“The message was quite clear,” Rey said. “Getting on Larry’s bad side is tantamount to career suicide.”
Starmer, who hopes to avoid that fate, received congratulations from Biden on Friday.
“Congratulations, Kevin,” Biden told Starmer, according to an official transcript of the call. “When I was a young man in Scranton, Pennsylvania, the British there loved me. They made me their prime minister, and that’s how I became mayor of London. Folks, look. The idea that…and look, my economy was the number one armadillo in the world, and there’s not a pangolin that’ll dance about history who will tell you the malarkey as it flies. As the first Macedonian-American president, I invite you to come visit the Taj Mahal and have dinner with me and Joan Rivers.”
Pain In The Bud 
Larry of course will be consulting at some point with Bella on matters concerning Mi5 and Starmers commitment to the ongoing ‘treats ‘n trading’ alliance with Buddy. I expect mysterious dissapearances whilst this is going on. Bertie has been out for two days clearly agreeing with Larry the framework of these matters and the suitability of any food that Starmer should have already brought into No.10. Joe and Donald will no doubt be a meowing point of the meeting, little is known over here of their views on felines?
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The Bidens have a cat named Willow whom they adopted about a year after moving into the White House, but the vast majority of this administration’s White House pets drama has involved Biden’s dog, Commander, who bit Secret Service agents three or four times.
Then new articles came out saying that, actually, Commander bit at least a dozen agents. Then months later someone leaked reports that, actually, Commander had chomped down on Secret Service agents some 40 times! Commander was exiled back to Delaware. I’m sure the agents had more than enough of him.
Trump is not a pet person, which isn’t surprising, and his sons are fools who go trophy hunting, but one thing I can say in his favor is that when a piece of legislation was set to undo a ban on bringing in elephant tusks as trophies, there was a huge backlash and Trump actually listened to people. I don’t remember if the bill was modified or killed in legislation, but either way the elephant exception was DOA as soon as Trump said he’d listened to people’s concerns and would not support it.
So as much as he’s loved or hated in different circles, I do appreciate the fact that he actually listened to people on that issue.
Aside from that, the last cat before Willow was India, the Bush family’s cat, and then of course the most famous White House feline of modern times, the Clinton family’s Socks the Cat, who was so popular that he starred in his own comic books and even had a Nintendo game about him in the works.
Sadly the Socks video game was canceled, but IIRC someone had gotten ahold of the old code and art assets, and was able to reconstruct parts of the in-progress gameplay, so there are Youtube videos showing what the game would have looked like if it’d been completed.
And yes, former President Buddy will certainly be in contact with Bella and Bertie to reaffirm the strategic treats alliance, as well as the mutual defense pact against insidious canine influence. Buddy’s jaguars stand ready when needed to provide the necessary muscle.
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Trump signed an anti animal cruelty bill into law in 2019. The law makes intentional abuse and torture of an animal a federal offense. I don’t know if the law has been implemented. I’m no Trump fan but in this case I will give him kudos.
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Yeah that was a huge step forward, as is the Big Cat Public Safety Act that Biden signed more than a year ago.
I’m not a fan of either of them, and I think our ridiculous two-party system is a big reason why we end up with such hustorically awful candidates, but I agree with you, credit where it’s due.
We could use an across-the-board modernization of the laws here in New York, since most are still remnants of the old “agriculture and markets” law — separate from the criminal code — than was meant to deal with farm animals, not pets/companion animals. Most states are in the same boat. I’ve spoken with a few of the state level politicians here in NY who regularly introduce new animal protection laws. The problem is that a lot of lawmakers see that stuff as not serious or urgent, so it takes real momentum to get a vote.
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The elephant trophy bill was overturned – by Trump. The reversed ban didn’t garner much attention, it took place in 2018.
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So it’s now legal to bring trophies in again? I remember Trump being convinced to change his mind, but I don’t remember a second piece of legislation. I’ll have to spend some time reading about it and catch up on the current situation.
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Larry’s infinitely better looking than ANY Prime Minister and I dare say much, much, much more intelligent.
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Handsome, smart, loved by the people. No wonder he’s outlasted every politician who’s moved into his house, which Larry magnanimously allows them to use.
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Starmer is also apparently bringing Jo-Jo the cat into No 10 to live alongside Larry. This has never gone well in the past with Palmerston – the Chancellors feline at No.11. Therefore one of Starmers early decisions is one that requires substantial diplomatic skills, is Starmer up to the job?, this will be his first hard test as far as I am concerned. We are watching.
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Man, how did I miss that? I specifically searched to find out if Starmer had a cat and didn’t find anything. All the articles were about Starmer moving into Larry’s home and Larry’s long reign as chief mouser. I have failed in my journalistic duties!
There’s a hilarious video of Larry and Palmerston having an argument on Downing Street, both of them facing off in that closed-off section that encompasses the whole compound.
When I watched the video I wasn’t expecting much vocalization, so when Larry and Palmerston started screeching at each other, Bud heard and turned to look at me with a “Mow? Mrow-mrrrrow?!”
“Don’t worry, little dude. Just a video of two other cats.”
“Oh. Well, mrrrrrow then!”
Here’s the Larry vs Palmerston video embedded in a story posted today by the Daily Mail:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13606589/Could-END-Larry-Cat-Feud-cat-Number-10-new-PM-Keir-Starmer-brings-family-moggy-JoJo-leaving-Downing-Streets-Chief-Mouser-unimpressed.html
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I couldn’t get the video to play, the site’s full of pop ups. Is the video on Youtube?
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Yeah, not exactly the same video but here are some showing Larry and Palmerston “arguing” with each other and making their feelings clear:
This one has footage of Larry vs a fox intruder at No. 10, Larry vs a pigeon, and Larry vs Palmerston:
Little dude takes his job seriously!
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Thanks for the videos! Larry is a scrapper!
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Politics here is unrelentingly grim (sound familiar? 🙂) and Larry is just about the best thing about it. Prime Ministers come and go, but handsome mousers seemingly last forever. Larry rules!
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