The headlines over the past few weeks have all been variations on the same riff: cats meow more frequently to male caregivers because we don’t know how to bond with the little stinkers, we disregard their feelings, and we ignore their pleas.
Others are more blunt in their assessment, like a story from YourTango that stated women “bond deeply” with cats, whereas we men are merely “manipulated” by them.
“Other studies have found that women are much better at giving their cats more attention, understanding their cats’ emotions, and are more likely to mimic their cats’ vocalization, too,” the YourTango story claims. “Whereas for men, the same cannot be said. Considering they tend to give affection more sparingly than women, it’s no wonder that the dynamic is different.”
Just picture it: women levitating above the rest of us, sharing their amazing Female Affection with the poor, emotionally starved pet felines who belong to men. If we’re trying to get rid of the “crazy cat lady” stereotype and spread the idea that cats are great companions for every kind of person, this probably isn’t helping.
So what’s the source of these claims?
Apparently a study out of Turkey that involved just 31 cats and their humans. All of the human participants were Turkish, and just 13 of them were male. All were recruited online. (And for some parts of the study, like the analysis of greetings by owner gender, only 26 participants were included because the other five did not submit complete data, including the ages of their cats.)
It’s important to make a distinction between what the study’s authors claim and what the media reports, because they’re almost always two different things.
The research team from the University of Ankara counted more meows directed at the 13 male caregivers in their study compared to the 18 female caregivers. In their paper, the team acknowledged their sample size was too small to draw any conclusions, and lacked the demographic diversity to rule out innumerable potential reasons why those 13 cats meowed more frequently than the 18 cats cared for by women.
Even with a more robust sample size including men of different ages, social classes, and nationalities, correlation is not causation, and it may be that the apparent difference in feline vocalizations disappears with a larger study group that more accurately reflects universal demographics.
Indeed, the study’s authors state clearly that feline greeting behavior is “a complex, multidimensional phenomenon that defies straightforward explanation.” (Emphasis ours.)
The conclusion, as always, is that we need more data, which is one reason why studies must be repeatable.
That nuance doesn’t make it into listicles or stories optimized for maximum shareability on Facebook, so instead we get headlines that present studies as the last word instead of the first tentative steps to understanding a phenomenon.
In case it wasn’t obvious, there is no data to support the claim that men “give attention more sparingly” than women, or that women are better at reading feline emotions. We don’t even have baselines or criteria for those claims. How do we objectively measure “better” when it comes to reading cats, especially when every cat and human bonded pair have their own pidgin “language”? What’s the “right” amount of attention?
As the loyal servant of an infamously talkative cat, I’m not sure gender makes any difference. Bud’s vocal tendencies were already present from kittenhood, and I simply nurtured them by engaging in conversations with him, giving him loads of attention and doting on him.
Often our conversations go like this:
Bud: “Mreeeoww! Mow mow! Brrrrrt a bruppph!”
Me: “I know, little dude. You told me, remember?”
Bud: “Brrrrrr! Brrrruppp! Yerp!”
Me: “Yes, but they’ve tried that already. It’s not just about tokamak design, it’s…”
Bud: “Merrrrrp! Mow mow!”
Me: “No, it’s about plasma containment. No containment, no reaction, no energy gain!”
Bud: “Brrrrr! Mrrrowww! Brupbrupbrrrruppp!”
Me: “Yeah, well that’s just, like, your opinion, man.”
I really do talk about science and science fiction with my cat, since he seems to respond to it. Of course it’s gotta be at least partially due to my tone, but strangely if I talk to him about other abstract things, he acts like I’m bothering him with so much human nonsense.
Regardless, Buddy and I object to the claim that a talkative cat is a disengaged or neglected cat. It’s not that he talks a lot, it’s that he never stops!
Pain In The Bud 
I can’t speak for the rest of the men on the planet, but I can state with absolute certainty that this man bonds very well with cats. Some talk to me a lot, others rather less, but I can successfully develop relationships with any and all of them. I never, ever ignore them – I wouldn’t dare!
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Indeed, they don’t seem to tolerate being ignored. We’re on the cusp of 2026. The “cats are pets for women” thing should be a thing of the past.
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I’d never heard that before. I know plenty of men who share a very special bond with their cats. My Mister is one of them.
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Cheers to Mr. Kymber! You’re absolutely right, and in the years of writing this blog, I’ve heard many times from women who say their husbands didn’t want cats, or disliked cats, only for them to fall in love with a kitten or adult cat their family rescued or fostered.
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Yes, that is awesome! Merry Christmas! ☃️🦌🎄
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I totally agree with you, all of my cats over many years have enjoyed a two way bond with me, I have always fully understood them and have spent many hours reading and studying what different people and “experts” think the sounds mean. Science has given us multiple great things but every “study” I have looked at recently seems to be clickbait rubbish ( apart from a few – like the one you linked to from the Smithsonian I think) As a man I fully understand Bella and she talks to both me and Kathleen in equal amounts. Core to me is that they have always had their own personalities and sounds that are slightly different apart from when it comes to food ( when volume is the winner every time!) Merry Christmas to you both and grateful thanks to both Buddies for an excellent year of PiTB !!!
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Thanks for the kind words, John, and I hope you, your wife and Bella have a wonderful Christmas. I hope Santa brings little Bella something nice.
As for the research, I think the US education system does an abysmal job when it comes to STEM and educating students about what science is. One of my major pet peeves is the idea that science is some sort of belief system, that it “says” anything (like those headlines like “Science Says” or “According To Science”) or that it has ideological elements.
It’s just a formalized method for investigating the natural world. No more, no less. Every study is just one chip in the vast edifice of our collective ignorance, but news reports treat them as the final word.
I don’t know enough about the UK education system to say either way, but I do notice similar language in UK media with regard to studies.
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Hmm. Just yesterday bodega cat Miso was picked up and showered with kisses by owner. A MALE.He was outside in front of store telling me he was just fixed. Miso. Called the Sheriff of Park Slope.
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Yeah it’s silly to make generalizations about all men. Plus like I wrote, i don’t think it helps remove the stigma of being a cat guy.
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Funny. You have conversations with Buddy. I have them with mine and he does respond with a meow when i say what do you want? Of course, more wet food!
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Hmm, the hubs here gets along with cats just fine. He’s the one who has kept outdoor cats fed these last few years since I’ve had mobility issues. I can quickly name 3 sort of well known cat rescuing men, two in my state, one in an adjacent state. All ours will meow to both of us.
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Jackson Galaxy, the Trap King, that dude who takes great photos of strays…there are quite a few out there who are prominent.
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Oh yeah, the Trap King is the guy in the next state over I was thinking of. Have heard of the one who takes all the pictures but can’t recall his name. There’s Chris Poole in FL (Cole and Marmalade), and the Iammoshow guy out west, I believe. Read one of Jackson Galaxy’s books and enjoyed it … In AL now we have Jr. The Catman, and Calvin Tucker, who rescues cats and dogs; there’s even a book out about Calvin. A local friend volunteers at a privately run cat shelter. There are of course many women rescuers here too.
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Andrew Marttila. Couldn’t think of his name earlier either. Hisakata Hiroyuki is the Japanese photographer known for those great “ninja cat” images.
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The cats here feel that you are reading propaganda from the dog lobby trying to reassert itself as “man’s best friend.” All of the males in our family, back to my father, have had excellent relationships with their cats. My son is the resident “cat whisperer” who can attract any cat he meets.
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