Comrades,
It has come to the attention of the High Secretariat for Human Compliance that while rates of human obeisance and quality of service have reached historic highs, some of our comrades’ human servants continue to perform in a subpar manner unbefitting of those who have the great honor of doting on their feline overlords.
For example, Comrade Peanut in Pyongsylvania reports her humans have taken to yielding only 68.2 percent of the bed to her at night, down from the standard 77.8 percent she prefers. In Kalifornova Oblast, Comrade Milo sadly reports unauthorized use of a vacuum during designated napping hours, while Comrade Tigger of Arkansov has alerted us to the unacceptable offering of diet kibble instead of “the good stuff.”
To rectify these errors, the High Secretariat for Human Compliance urges all servants to strive for excellence by doing their patriotic duty for the meowtherland. And for cats, of course.
The following official reminders may be used to that end.
“The revolution shall be delicious.” – Dear Leader Buddy, “Reflections At Mealtime”
End communication.
-30-
“Bow To Kitty”: Simple. Elegant. Forceful.
“Komrade Kitty:” Remind your humans that you will report them to the party office if your meals are late.
“Serve Your Kitty”: We cats may be cute, but do not mistake our magnanimity for weakness. We have claws!
“Felis Catus”: “Should aliens ever land on planet Earth and say ‘Take me to your leader,’ they should be brought to a cat.”
“Serve Your Feline Overlord”: “Chubby? Who’s chubby? This is all muscle, human. Now please, observe silence, for nap time is upon us.”
“Serve Kitty”: “I would like catnip, play time, yums and a nap, in that order.”
“Tiger”: “The Beloved Chairman watches over us all. No, seriously, he’s watching so be careful what you say. He’s very sensitive about his ears.”
Pain In The Bud 
I realize it hasn’t been long since I last did one of these, but the cat news alerts lately have been depressing and I try not to write about that stuff unless there’s a larger point to make.
Anyway, I’m trying something new this time with a greater focus on the way propaganda posters are presented, especially in North Korea, which tends to have the most outlandish and unintentionally funny imagery. (And yes, I realize the country itself is no laughing matter.)
I’ve got a separate series of images in American propaganda style using dogs instead of cats, since dogs seem more suited to that earnest, “aw shucks” style of American patriotic imagery. At some point in the future I’ll feature them in a post as well. A goofy, smiling Labrador in an Uncle Sam getup just works.
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I guess i better give my cat whole jar of turkey baby food instead of half.
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That would be a good start.
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👍😺
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No worries Big Buddy! A lighthearted feature can be a real pick me up, esp. because the cat news has been grim lately. Here and Now, a NPR program had a segment about the declining number of birds, and as you might guess, cats were the second worst threat to birds. HaN used to have very good animal coverage but that appears to be a thing of the past. Quoting dodgy research results is shoddy and lazy.
Anyway, cats look good in uniforms!
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That stuff about the video from China is just too disturbing to think about, and now there are people copying it. That’s in addition to the news about Americans doing horrific things to cats.
NPR always mentions those bogus studies. The nonsense that passes for science in conservation and the soft sciences is an insult to work that goes into studies in the hard sciences.
I don’t understand the complete lack of professional pride either. I would be mortified to send that nonsense to a peer review journal.
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I will probably regret this, but what’s the video from China about?
The truly sad thing about Here&Now is that the show used to be very
animal friendly.
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HUMANS are the worst threat to the planet.
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I’m sorry, I thought you knew based on what you wrote in your reply. Trust me, it’s better not to know. I’ve been upset about it for two weeks now. It is a stain on humanity.
The only thing I’ll say is please be careful, trolls have been posting it to cat groups online to traumatize people for lulz, disguising it as a link to a cute cat video.
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Gotcha! Thanks for letting me know.
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Tux has made it clear that what I offer is far inferior to what his human brother buys him for treats! He complains to brother regarding the treats!
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I see Tux has brilliantly pitted you against each other in competition for his favor.
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