Big Buddy: [The Human] Somehow people got this ridiculous idea that cats are exclusively pets for women…
Little Buddy: [The Cat] …which is absurd because we’re basically small tigers. I mean, look at me. Who wouldn’t run in terror if they found themselves on the wrong side of these claws?
Big Buddy: We’re here to dispel the idea that cats are for women, and tell you that caring for a cat is a manly thing to do.
Little Buddy: That’s right! Extremely manly.
Big Buddy: We do manly stuff around here.
Little Buddy: That’s right! We watch football, we drive around in a rugged pick-up truck and we grunt a lot.
Big Buddy: We don’t actually do any of those things.
Little Buddy: But we would, if we cared about football and trucks.
Big Buddy: We’re into other manly stuff, like baseball, basketball, huge starship battles and fight club. We funkatize entire galaxies, facilitate the spread of interstellar funk and blast funky bass lines from black holes.
Little Buddy: We don’t talk about fight club.
Big Buddy: And besides, the most badass canine is a wolf…
Little Buddy: …but the most badass feline is a tiger!
Big Buddy: That’s not even a contest. A tiger is clearly more badass than a wolf.
Little Buddy: Significantly more badass! A veritable fount of badassery. More badass by several orders of magnitude.
Big Buddy: I think they get it, little dude.
Little Buddy: I was just making sure.
Big Buddy: So if you’re a dude thinking about adopting a cat, don’t let dumbasses tell you cats are “feminine” pets…
Little Buddy: …cause then you’d be missing out on having your very own little tiger buddy. RAWR!!!
Big Buddy: Maybe we could do without the roar. You sound like Elmo singing in falsetto.
Little Buddy: I do not! I sound like a terrifying jungle cat.
Big Buddy: Okay, Elmo.