This Cat Looks Like He’ll Murder You In Your Sleep

Meet Xherdan.

Also, we assume, known as Xherdan the Sun Eater, Xherdan the Bane of Hope, He Who Sups on Souls, and Xherdan the Earthcrusher.

The incredibly wrinkly Sphinx cat is served by a Swiss woman named Sandra Filippi, who insists the feline, despite looking like the brain of a malevolent alien, is just a big softy who enjoys cuddling and napping when he’s not talking. We’ll give Filippi the benefit of the doubt and won’t allege those talks include nefarious plans for the subjugation of the human race, but only until we get solid evidence.

Where some of us see a Lovecraftian horror from the deepest Cthulian depths, Filippi sees an adorable kitty.

“When I first saw him, he immediately stole my heart,” Filippi told the Daily Mail. “His wrinkled pink skin, as fine as a peach, and his turquoise eyes, I was in love.”

Although she doesn’t explicitly say so, it appears her cat is named after footballer Xherdan Shaqiri, a Swiss midfielder who plays for Liverpool.

We’ve taken the liberty of making some very small adjustments (barely noticeable, really) to one of Xherdan’s photos in Pixlr, just to show our readers what an excellent Evil Overlord this cat would make:

sphinx2a

But the truth is, he doesn’t need glowing smoke coming from his eyes or dramatic lighting. He looks terrifying enough as it is:

sphinxcat
Xherdan orders his minions to feast on the corpses of unbelievers.
sphinx5
Xherdan grooms himself after easily reducing another human city to rubble and salting the earth it stood on.
sphinx4
Xherdan threatens to wipe motorists from existence in a column of balefire if they don’t make way for his vehicle.

4 thoughts on “This Cat Looks Like He’ll Murder You In Your Sleep”

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